Many people in our country ditch dating apps and opt for arranged marriages instead. And while it could be a beautiful affair, several desis have opened up on the other side of these rishta meetings, from having a long list of expectations to strangers counting the potential suitor’s flaws.
A Twitter user happened to witness one such arranged marriage rishta meeting while she was at a coffee shop, and gave a live commentary of it in a hilarious Twitter thread. Check it out:
I am studying in a coffee shop. There is an arranged marriage couple having their 2nd date. She is v pretty in a kurta with mirror work. He looks like a Marwari uncle. He seems to be 5-10 years older than her. He is wearing a polo T-shirt with a huge logo and an apple watch
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
she is so bored – she’s doing that nodding thing where you’re not actually listening – he is talking about his job in a very self important manner – now he has asked about her job
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
From mansplaining to unsolicited career advice, the girl describes how the male suitor seems to check all the sexist stereotypical boxes.
now he is criticising her choice of a huge Frappuccino her name has a heart on the cup – he is not impressed by her lack of deference there is an abject lack of chemistry – he has just said the words ‘so this is like your passion’ – he is into movies apparently we all are bhai
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
he has also mentioned his pappa thrice – he is now talking her through every stage of the CA exam SEE THIS IS THE PROBLEM THE AVG QUALITY OF WOMEN IS SO GREAT THAT EVEN THE MOST MEDIOCRE MEN ARE IN A POSITION TO CHOOSE WHILE WOMEN SORT THROUGH TRASH
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
He got a call and picked up with – Ji? -he has a v generic haircut nothing special. In a sea of uncles you wouldn’t be able to tell him apart. Now he’s telling her why FedEx is Better than DTDC. She doesn’t give two fucks.
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
She also analysed their body language and commented on how the guy kept interrupting the girl, and talked about his travel plans not considering the ongoing pandemic.
travelling is his ‘passion’ he is going to Ooty with his buddies next week DURING A PANDEMIC – now he is being semi racist about the language spoken there bade travel fiend hai prospective groom uncle he LOVES to travel but his CA job keeps him SO BUSY
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
women go through so much. Out of politeness we pander to make egos, lie about liking playlists, pretend to feign interests in men’s interests for WHAT, he is still talking over her about some boring ass work schedule story
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
sorry for the delay. I was in the loo. His pappa also has dukaans he is telling her about the margin after rudely cutting off her MBA plan monologue. The look on his face clearly said she’s going to find someone more interesting the program and never marry me.
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
Families from both sides also made an appearance to check on and supervise the date. She also reveals her unfortunate past relationship, giving the kahaani a twist.
SHE IS TALKINGN ABOUT HER EX. He cheated on her with a fashion designer. I think she is meeting this toad like man just because. He doesn’t seem to have any exes to talk about. She is salty about philandering ex and a business she wants to start
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
his family business exports snacks – papdi, murmura, namkeen, Nimki etc to the UK. honestly this is so fkn boring. Why is she tolerating tbf I have also feigned interest in order to try and get some but neither of them are getting any???
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
The alliance seems pretty serious as their entire khandaans are present and approving of the couple together.
full family is now taking out his nuks while he is parking his car or whatever – he is back now full namaste namaste happening – he touching feet now auntyji is part of the conversation- this is more serious than we all thought it was
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
She compares and contrasts the formal rishta meeting with the innocent chemistry and flirting of another couple sitting nearby.
it has been v boring guys he is a boring dude talking about boring things like his CA job – he has described himself as a ‘homely guy’ with ‘desi values’ meanwhile a couple with actual chemistry is sitting on another table canoodling and whispering sweet nothings and giggling
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
Thankfully I did 3 readings before this saga started. I will finish off the fourth and head home. I’ve read of 159 pages of constitutional philosophy today. This gave my brain some rest. Ladies and Nb folks DO BETTER FOR YOURSELVES PLEASE – we all need to raise our standards
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
And finally, she ends the saga by dropping the anti-climax.
I saw them while leaving cyberhub. Full khandaan eating doughnuts at Krispy Kreme I think they’ll get married
— lil cosmic cowgirl💫 (@fluffcaramelpuf) July 11, 2021
Here are some of the responses people had to this long but hilariously detailed tale. Some talked about the disproportionate compromises women have to forego in such situations:
This was so entertaining lol. This sounds like every other arranged marriage in my family where the guy thinks he's too cool and everyone hypes him while the girl is WAAAY nicer but just has to be 'homely' and 'sanskaari' 🤢🤢 https://t.co/2TpkkmxUkX
— Hrishika Jotwani (@HrishikaJotwani) July 11, 2021
I know too many women who go through this https://t.co/mim9qBBn6i
— Hunza (@Hi_Mukadam) July 11, 2021
I guess the episode with the Ex put her in a position where she can no longer make choices. The family stepped in to make sure nothing goes wrong again and nothing that will shame the family. At some point secure, boring, well established men are accepted by women.
— A. Ali (@kharthoom) July 11, 2021
Very few women would rather take the risk of staying single to find the right guy while all their friends marry the type of uncle you just described. If she doesn’t marry soon, she will be viewed with pity by all. Indian women have an invisible expiration date on their foreheads.
— A. Ali (@kharthoom) July 11, 2021
Others defended the guy, asking her to not judge him too quickly:
Terrible thread. Poor fella prolly spent most of his 20s locked in a room working towards CA exams, didn't have much time to develop social skills – gets dunked on by random strangers on twatter for being boring – sad! https://t.co/uhBskTskBJ
— climate change enjoyer (@lllIlIlIllIII) July 11, 2021
You never know how the boring dude might turn out. Maybe he’s a closet romantic who’ll be a better husband than the giggly young men on the side
Maybe he’s kind
Maybe he’s in for the long haul
Maybe he’s never going to cheat like her ex did
Maybe he’s safe
You can’t know— Shobna S. Iyer (@shobnasi) July 12, 2021
What’s your take on this story? Tell us.