Men can do a lot to make women feel safer at home, at work, and on the streets. Many men have addressed fellow guys and shared tips on exactly what they can do to achieve this like refraining from staring, speaking out against sexist jokes etc. But this conversation is ongoing and should be continued till the situation is no longer the same.
This discussion recently gained more urgency after 33-year-old Sarah Everard went missing while walking home at night in London. CNN reports that her body has been identified and a serving Metropolitan Police officer has been arrested on suspicion of her kidnapping and murder.
London police officer Wayne Couzens charged with kidnap and murder of Sarah Everard, 33, who disappeared as she walked home in south London https://t.co/8gaLC2ug3u
— BBC Breaking News (@BBCBreaking) March 12, 2021
After women across the globe shared their fears on social media and also recounted awful experiences which left them scared for their safety, a man named Stuart Edwards, who lives in the same area as Sarah, asked what could men do to reduce this anxiety.
I live less than five minutes from where Sarah Everard went missing. Everyone is on high alert. Aside from giving as much space as possible on quieter streets and keeping face visible, is there anything else men can reasonably do to reduce the anxiety/spook factor?
— Stuart Edwards (@StuartEdwards) March 9, 2021
1. Give her space
This is an excellent question and I wish more men would ask it. Cross the street to avoid walking behind a woman. Give all women space. Never run close to them when jogging, esp in the dark – I’m endlessly astonished at how many men do this. Offer to walk female friends home.
— Fiona Sturges (@FionaSturges) March 10, 2021
If you’re walking behind a woman, even at a distance, and it’s dark, cross over to the other side of the road and walk there instead.
I’ve had men do this a couple of times and it’s like a huge weight lifted.
— Hannah Al-Othman 📝🗞 (@HannahAlOthman) March 10, 2021
Not so much with walking but driving also – I’ve been followed in a van before and so if any car slows right down when passing me on a main road where there’s no obvious turn offs/lay bys I completely freak out. Sad it’s come to this, we know not all of you are monsters!
— Beth (@bethgabriel_) March 10, 2021
When I travel, “lift” etiquette is also something I follow. If I ride a lift and a woman gets in, I will move and stand so I’m facing the door just off to one side. She can see me & I don’t block the buttons/alarm. I also won’t get in if there is a lone woman already inside ❤️
— Andrew Newiss (@anewiss) March 10, 2021
Not pull up in cars to leer or worse. I’ve been targeted while out walking or carrying shopping bags even in daylight by creepy men tailgating me in their cars trying to lure me inside to ‘speak to them’ or ‘get to know you better’ or that they just want to ‘give you a lift’.
— Sarah-Louise Robertson (@SarahRobertson5) March 10, 2021
One thing we can do is not walk too close behind the woman who is alone. Make space for them to run or walk faster if they feel uncomfortable. Move away from their space. Cross the road. Wait until they are clear from you.
And above all, teach the next generation of men to— Toni Roche-Simmons (@roche_toni) March 10, 2021
2. Indirectly convey that you’re not following her
Stop and tie your laces or look for something in your bag. Or read a shop sign. Show you aren’t interested in the person ahead. I once got followed in the dark back to my car after work, the guy accelerated and banged on the window when I got in to tell me he wasn’t a threat!
— sarkydalek (@SarkyDalek) March 10, 2021
If I’m in a situation where a woman might feel uncomfortable or worried in my proximity I often take out my phone and call my wife. I’ll make a point of being very amiable and jolly and perhaps a little dorky asking after the cats and so on
— Brian Stephens (@Futurenoir100) March 10, 2021
It sounds silly but being “noisy”. If you’re behind someone so they can’t see you but can audibly tell where you are is helpful. It also helps convey that you’re not trying to sneak up on someone. Maybe phone a friend and chat.
— JT and the NHS (@JTsNHS) March 9, 2021
In France men always speak to women on passing them alone. They say Bonjour Madame or Bonsoir akin to I suppose Good Evening. This courteous direct address and eye contact often before you are close up actually is very reassuring. It is also an alert for those who don’t.
— Julia De Cadenet (@JuliadeCadenet) March 10, 2021
3. Call out inappropriate behaviour
also, as a man, whenever you see suspicious behaviour, please intervene – when me and a friend were being harassed and followed over the summer, it was only when a man intervened that we were able to get away https://t.co/iOXNUlmdax
— Bonnie McLaren (@bonaldmcdonald) March 10, 2021
Call out your sexist friends. Stop being friends with people who are inappropriate and creepy towards women. Stop telling jokes where rape and assault are the punchline. Be vocally opposed to media using women’s pain as a tool to make male characters grow or to set a gritty tone
— B is for Becky 🌻🦻 (@b_the_slt) March 10, 2021
Tell your mates if they look like they’re harassing women? Stop any creepy banter in its tracks? Stand up for women when you see men being inappropriate (then walk away)? Have a chat with your mates about this?
— Kathryn Blundell (@KathrynBtweets) March 10, 2021
If you witness a man catcalling a woman, step in and let him know that isn’t cool. If more men would call out the bad behavior of other men, the world would be safer for women.
— Ye Olde Woods Witch (@courtney_bolton) March 10, 2021
The fact that you’re aware & asking this is fantastic. Talk to other men about it, as many are oblivious. If you witness even low-key harassment, call it out. Everyone pretends not to notice the creeps making women uncomfortable. It only emboldens them & normalises the behaviour.
— Rebecca Vincent (@rebecca_vincent) March 10, 2021
Stop enabling, excusing, perpetuating and ignoring misogyny and violence against women. https://t.co/Mqp2q10TdQ
— Amy Fitzpatrick (@AperolFitz) March 11, 2021
4. Accompany friends home
Thank you for this tweet, a lot of us needed to see this today. I would add that if a female friend asks for you to accompany them on what you would normally consider a safe journey, never judge them or tell them they’re being dramatic. Trust me, we wish we could go alone!
— mol (@molhills) March 10, 2021
When with female friends, always, always err on the side of caution. Walk them home. Call them an Uber. So many women don’t want to be a bother and it ends in disaster too often. Be that pushy friend who makes sure they are safe. ❤️
— nica (@nicawrites) March 10, 2021
If you live near any female friends/colleagues, or have female housemates, the most comforting thing you can do is let them know they can call you if they don't feel safe whilst walking home. It is small but powerful act. https://t.co/5Qy6P6KaXu
— Mariam (@mkmalaki) March 10, 2021
Our thoughts and prayers are with Sarah’s friends and family in this difficult time.