Triggered by reading about crimes happening across the country? Fed up of getting vile messages online (sometimes even threats)? Thankfully, things are changing. People are taking the first step i.e. acknowledging the problems and talking about concrete steps to make India a safer and better place for everyone.
Here’s proof. A #MenTalkingToMen thread initiated by Rituparna Chatterjee on behaviours that need an overhaul.
This is a question to men: What is the one behaviour you'd want other men to change to make safer, better spaces for everyone? Genuine question, abusive, troll tweets will be ignored/blocked. Purely to engage and to listen.
— Rituparna Chatterjee (@MasalaBai) November 11, 2020
And the suggestions are impactful, to say the least. From simple things like listening and admitting one’s mistakes to more difficult changes like doing away with wife jokes and reducing our tolerance for misogyny, men showed the way forward.
Be rid of the notion that experience or age equals intelligence and has veto rights. It's the notion that dictates how we treat younger employees, anyone who are new or returning to the workplace, newer thought, newer policy, family, relationships, trends and technology. https://t.co/3hTxU2Iiu6
— Vir Das (@thevirdas) November 12, 2020
Touching women ‘innocently’, without consent. https://t.co/sBeobbiqRq
— सुशांत सिंह sushant singh سشانت سنگھ (@sushant_says) November 11, 2020
Stop glaring at woman. Stop undressing them with your eyes. I just hate that bit. Learn to respect woman. We all have mothers, sisters & daughters at home.
— Joydeep Ganguly (@joydeepg9) November 11, 2020
1. Assuming that a girl is into you. Don’t assume. Please ask openly for consent.
2. don’t blindly believe movies and keep pestering women, hoping she would turn.
3. Final one, when ur actions make a girl uncomfortable, one should stop
— Madhan kumar (@madhan_2) November 12, 2020
Start confronting other men, especially those in your circles, when they make sexist remarks or jokes etc. That will reduce tolerance for misogyny and will normalize standing up for women.
— Chandrahaas Uniyal (@taru_uniyal) November 11, 2020
Looking at women as objects. Like words such as degi, nahi degi, dekh kya mast maal jarahi hai. I wish we men could stop seeing women as objects
— LuckyTheluke (@ThelukeLucky) November 11, 2020
2/2 In personal lives: Treat them normally, equally. Don’t put them on a pedestal, or underfoot. Respect their wishes. Don’t crack “my wife is the home minister” type of uncle jokes; stop others who do. Support her in public, and in private.
— Shantanu (@shantanub) November 11, 2020
Just stop talking for once and listen. Like actually absorb the words being thrown at you.
— Pramit Chatterjee (@pramitheus) November 11, 2020
We, men, should learn to tone down our audacity. I am surprised to see many of us having so much audacity to slut-shame women on social media. Some of us even DM women with vulgar comments. Whatever a woman is posting, it is not an invitation for us to misbehave with them. https://t.co/y13rzYSnNZ
— Kaushik Raj (@kaushikrj6) November 11, 2020
Taking care of a new born is solely seen as a mother's duty. I've seen many married men even from my generation who refuse to bathe the baby or change the diaper.
A mother's only fixed duty is breastfeeding. Every other task should be shared by both parents. Even kangaroo care! https://t.co/ATGAa5cstA
— Shashank Shekhar Misra शशांक शेखर मिश्र (@shashank109) November 11, 2020
Jokes aside, men should stop controlling the women of their families. Support their wives and daughters and nieces as they navigate the world, in a way that empowers them. Young boys learn from their fathers that women have less rights and less freedoms.
— D(v)stl (@_VishalC) November 11, 2020
Men make mistakes. It’s ok to admit, apologize, learn than be in denial, insolent and aggressive.
— Antaratma (@_atma) November 11, 2020
Shed this preconceived notion of what masculinity should look like.
Make expressing your emotions normal.
Make crying normal.
Stop treating people as outcasts if they do not conform to your idea of masculinity.
Make it normal for men to be feminists.
— Vedansh Pujara (@Vpuj) November 11, 2020
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