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Sexual harassment abuse is the worst of it’s kind. Especially at work where one’s hard-earned career is at stake. No, I’m not trying to categorise or tag pitiable plights that have made a joke out of law and order in the country, but I intend to raise my voice.
Just like innumerable brave women who have come together with #MeToo, to tell their ordeal of sexual harassment and abuse. Yes, #MenToo is also trending for different reasons (read: fragile male ego) but it is not a complete lost cause after all. How and why? Because there are men who have at least started to acknowledge the problem and are even lending support to uproot the social evil in a plea that starts with a sorry.
And today, I’m going to tell you about a man who’s compelling Twitter thread is the need of the hour.
1. It all began a few years ago…
1. A few years ago, one of my women colleagues called me to her office, sat me down, and said, "You know that male colleague of yours, the..
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
2. And it was a shame!
2. "… one that you always supported and defended, well he made inappropriate comments to me, and drunk calls that passed the line."
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
3. Dear men, please pay attention.
3. She had handled it, had given him an earful about his conduct, but she wanted me to know that I had enabled that behaviour by being blind
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
4. Can see why.
4. It was particularly shameful for me because I had also helped recruit and train up the woman colleague, and she was disappointed in me.
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
5. The shame continued…
5. I carry that shame with me still, as well as the shame I never articulated with other women colleagues who may have been hit upon by him.
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
6. Call it casual sexism, if you may.
6. Because the thing was that I knew he didn't behave altogether appropriately, his friendliness crossed minor lines, nothing obviously bad,
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
7. That is what most of them think!
7. at least not in front of me, but I could have still taken him aside and said something, pushed him to behave appropriately.
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
8. The confession.
8. My cowardice stemmed from the fact that I needed him for a million Euro project I was managing, which was hard enough as it was.
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
9. THIS.
9. So because no obvious red lines were crossed in front of me, I turned a blind eye. This is a classic way that bad behaviour is enabled.
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
10. Something that no book tells you about.
10. As an enabler of such behaviour, my cowardice made me into an accomplice in making my office an uncomfortable one for women.
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
11. As simple as it sounds.
11. It is easy to blame one man for such things, but other men in their vicinity, for the worst of reasons, are also responsible, as I was.
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
12. Only if every woman could…
12. I remain grateful to my colleague for telling me, as I remain ashamed before her for not acting, so at least I was forced to face my own
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
13. SIGH
13. culpability in the whole thing.
-end-— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
14. If it can happen here, it can happen anywhere.
NB Oh, and that project, it had a large gender component in it, with women leaders and implementers. Shameful that this also happened in it.
— Omair Ahmad (@OmairTAhmad) October 13, 2017
Dear men, I am glad you understand our plight and our need to cry out loud but your concern will never fructify unless YOU be the agent of change. Your thoughts will not matter until you stand up against your peers who take part in leer parades.
Will you do this for us?
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