When it comes to looking for a female life partner for themselves or the men in their families, desis have a set of criteria already in place. Good-looking, slim, sushil, sanskari, gharelu, family-oriented – these are some of the qualities that they look for in a woman.
Similarly, when it comes to looking for a prospective groom in India, people look for a well-settled man with a permanent job, owning a house, and a car, and belonging to a nuclear family.
These are some of the checkboxes people want to tick before getting into matrimony.
But, times have changed today and it’s about having equality. However, there were also others who slammed her for saying that modern women are lazy and dependent on men.
During an interview, the ‘Singham’ actor said in Hindi, “In India, we sometimes forget that many women are just lazy. They want a boyfriend/husband, who earns well, owns a house, and performance at work guarantees regular increments. But that woman doesn’t have the guts to say, ‘What will I do?’ They forget to stand up for themselves.”
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Appealing to the audience present, she further said, “I urge everyone to bring up such women who are able and can earn a living for themselves, who can share the household expenses with their partners.”
Siding with men, she added, “I think when men turn 18, they have a pressure to start earning as early as possible and support the family. I feel like crying for my brothers, and my husband. On the contrary, women keep thinking about what to make of their lives even till the age of 27. They keep pressurizing their boyfriends to have a foreign honeymoon, destination weddings, and pre-wedding shoots, the expenses of which are borne by the man.”
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She asks such women, “What are you earning to contribute to these facilities that you’re demanding? Go get yourself educated, and find a job, but no, they can’t do this. Then they complain when a man appreciates them. They report to HR when someone speaks politely to them. Listen to him first, why are you living at the edge always?” She further clarified that not all women are like that.
“But, this aggression, this demanding nature is growing quite a lot wherein I feel that we have to look at the situation with a certain amount of humbleness and equality that you also owe something to the family. Paying the bills is not the sole responsibility of your husband. So, I think, today we need such women who understand the responsibilities and can bear them.”
Kulkarni said so after a female from the audience asked her to give a message to the 90% of women who don’t do anything to excel in life and be independent.
Watch her speak here:
#WATCH | "Many girls/women in India are lazy who just want well-earning boyfriends/husbands." | Actor @sonalikulkarni
This bitter truth is going to pinch many. Thank you for speaking up, Sonali#VoiceForMen pic.twitter.com/F48tSpYxOv
— Voice For Men India (@voiceformenind) March 16, 2023
The clip is from her 29-minute-long interview with Bhupenddra Singh Raathore AKA Coach BSR.
After the clip of her interview went viral, people gave their two cents on the matter. There were some who lauded her for stating that many women need equality, but when it comes to sharing financial responsibilities, they apparently back off.
I don't know who she is but hats off to her courage to speak the unspoken unpalatable truth! 👏#Equality pic.twitter.com/vB2zwZerul
— Amit Srivastava 🕉️ (@AmiSri) March 15, 2023
She is right on many counts…
— Janani Sampath Veeravalli✍️ 🇮🇳 (@jananisampath) March 16, 2023
Spot on, so glad someone spoke abt this! This bias begins at home, parents expect from sons and not daughters when it comes to finances. A woman’s earnings is her own, where as a man’s is for all. Women are never equal unless they fight for shared responsibilities with men.
— 👩🏻🏫 Asha 💁🏻♀️ (@asha_ny) March 15, 2023
What she’s basically saying is that women want equality when it’s convenient to them. When it comes to people who clean sewers, build infrastructure, do dangerous jobs, women want no part in that. #Facts
— Sanchit Jajodia (@sanchitjajodia) March 16, 2023
Aisi Devi ko Charan Vandan, The problem is everyone just wants to take, nobody wants to give, That’s the root cause of all the clashes
— Vijay Tyagi (@Vijay_Tyagi_) March 15, 2023
100% sahi kha sonali ne..aisa hi hona chahiye😊👍
— rama shrivastava…………. (@kaur_khan) March 18, 2023
Very true! While we were searching for a bride for my brother, the specifics from the girl’s sides were so daunting! Eg. She is graduate but expects boy to be be PG, six figures salary, settled in abroad (choice of countries given), open for foreign trips annually, etc
— Dipika Singh (@gleefulblogger) March 16, 2023
Plus peer pressure..valentine day, Marriage anniversary, what neighbor bought for his wife
— @mey#😎 ಅಮೆಯ್ अमेय वसंत नामजोशी (@AmeyVNamjoshi) March 17, 2023
Well Said @sonalikulkarni This is what exactly Equality means!! Equality is not just rights. Its duties as well, both ways..
— अतुल मिश्रा 🇮🇳 (@Atul_1229) March 17, 2023
Problem ye hai ki koi doosra opinion sunna bhi nahi chahta…Arrey bhai koi galat hai to apna point rakho.
She was so diligent and respectful in presenting her point. But the amount of name calling, by some 'feminists' is just disappointing. https://t.co/uXaYVD4mjy
— Sarthak Goswami (@sundaysarthak) March 17, 2023
True & truly sad @Paromitabardolo .Check the matrimonial columns-wanted, good looking,educated, earning,’homely’;take care of in-laws,Hh duties & hand over monthly salary type of ad’s. Double whammy.The ‘insight’ she has is lazy & should have been qualified such – ‘in my circles’ https://t.co/8Olt1aswGN
— Sona Mohapatra (@sonamohapatra) March 16, 2023
However, there were also others who slammed her for calling out women ignoring the fact that many women, especially homemakers who don’t work a conventional job, take on responsibilities of the house which is an equally demanding task.
And there are also other women who have not had the same educational opportunities as men and hence, resort to looking for financial stability in a marriage.
There's a special hell for women who play to male sympathy by pretending that the world isn't unequal for millions of their sisters through violence, centuries of continuing oppression, discrimination and the stranglehold of patriarchy. https://t.co/et4Ytfx0r0
— Rituparna Chatterjee (@MasalaBai) March 17, 2023
99.9% women don’t speak up against legit cases of sexual abuse, sexism and misogyny at work place to save their jobs and save their image
Here is this starlet is saying why women don’t accept harassment at work as “appreciation”
Sigh!
— Monica Verma (@TrulyMonica) March 17, 2023
How insensitive , whatever you said !
You’re calling modern day women lazy when they are handling their work as well as household chores together ?
What’s wrong in wanting a husband whose earning good ? Men for centuries only saw women as child vending machine and yes the main… https://t.co/g1rQGyuSDg— Uorfi (@uorfi_) March 17, 2023
stop generalizing things on gender, anyone can be lazy or hardworking. In my family & friend circle many females work outside and those who don't work outside they indulge in household chores & manage family that's also the most difficult task. https://t.co/WoRlfoJPGM
— 𝔖𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔫 🕊️ (@SagaciousSachin) March 17, 2023
and how beautifully she ignored the whole point that in which house a man earns, same girl after marriage becomes HOUSEWIFE who does all household works ONLY THEN HE CAN WORK PEACEFULLY. men get paid for their jobs but women don't even get paid for their jobs which is more tough. https://t.co/w5z4NakoQ6
— 💫 (@NidhiiTweets_) March 17, 2023
“men have to start working at the age of 20🥺” and girls are taught household chores as soon as they’re able to understand language, while sons are actually allowed to have a childhood. https://t.co/9PVnDzb9DD
— venus🪷 (@am3thystb1tch) March 17, 2023
Who can give such statements that women are lazy, if not a privileged upper caste woman.
Look at women in this country. The amount of unpaid labor women do almost feels criminal.
She needs to read the Govt data on what women go through in this country.
Sit down, Miss Kulkarni. https://t.co/P8dHOuAERC— Paromita Bardoloi (@Paromitabardolo) March 16, 2023
Twitter was divided on this one. What do you have to say about her opinions? Let us know.