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My father read something aloud so that I could listen to him from the other room. I heard that and was forced to join him in the drawing room over his usual cup of coffee. My dad and I always had conversations in the evening. We shared everything that happened with us during the day and often contemplated our actions towards those things.
That day, the discussion was on self-acceptance. I had obviously screwed up something because I believed I wasn’t good enough. Yes, I’ll repeat. Because, I believed I wasn’t good enough. Though it is very easy writing this over here, but trust me, if you tend to say this almost every day to yourself, you’re doomed.
My father pulled his chair and said, ”Do you know what is the bravest thing to do? To accept yourself as you are. If someone knows this art, he/she knows how to master their life.” This was the gist of the conversation we had that day.
After this session, I have always kept this mantra in my mind.
Accepting ourselves would have been okay if we were brought up in a supportive environment, where there were teachings of validating our ok-ness. But if that were not the case, then you need to understand the importance of ‘certifying’ ourselves and consequently, seeing things in a better light.
But, the bigger question is: How to practice self-acceptance? Especially in today’s world which is so hypercompetitive, how do you know how to accept yourself holistically?
Here are the ways:
Leave the self-esteem thing behind
People evaluate themselves too much. The art of not caring about how others evaluate you has been taught since ages.
Understand that self-esteem and self-acceptance are two different things. Self-esteem refers specifically to how valuable and worthwhile we see ourselves, whereas self-acceptance means accepting everything about you- the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Rather than drooling on the thought of how you perceive yourself, you should learn to accept yourself…unconditionally. Do not rate yourself on a certain scale. The way to implement this is understanding that human beings are flawed; not everyone is good at ALL things. So, learn to accept yourself.
Stop gauging yourself against other people’s accomplishments
We have been brought up in an environment like this where we often used to be compared with Sharmaji’s son and thus, we have ended up doing greater harm than good. This has done us greater damage than good – We end up comparing ourselves to other people’s accomplishments.
We need to remove these yardsticks of measurement. This step of achieving self-acceptance is imperative because how you see yourselves matter. A LOT. Do not let the perception of others paint your empty canvas with the colors they want.
Most of us see our self-worth after comparing ourselves with someone else. Going down this road is harmful because people are not the yardstick to measure things. You are. If you really want to see how productive/accomplished you are, compare yourself with what you were yesterday. And while you do this, there might be a possibility that you may end up being dissatisfied, but that’s okay.
Be grateful of what you have
Practice the art of gratitude because self-acceptance and gratitude are almost one and the same thing. Gratitude is the accepting and appreciating what is.
Express gratitude because of the fact that you have so and so talent and you can channelise it to do things that are meant for your highest good.
Focus on your attitude towards things, and not the outcome
Your attitude towards the things you do is the main factor.
Understand that you are in control. How you perceive things is a great deal. Don’t do things in life because you’re supposed to. That is not the right attitude to live. And while you’re at it, don’t ponder over things like- what will people think, how will I be judged, etc.
If you do not self-accept yourself, you cannot do things that are mind blowing. People around you have their own achievements that they want to achieve- for some, it is landing job, or entrepreneurship, and for some of them, it is a business challenge. My point being: everyone has his/her own struggles in life and if you compare yourself with others, you lose out on life.
So, after seeing yourself as you are, adopt an attitude to go against the grain. Stop adapting to society, following the tried and tested conventional methods and start being YOU.
You’d be amazed at the empowerment that results from this.
And, here were the points that provide a pathway to self-acceptance. Read it, learn it, imbibe it, and then see the results!
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