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Violence against women, abuse and harassment is condemned and shamed publicly. As it should be. But it’s male trauma which doesn’t get the same attention and even when people do talk about it, many a times they reduce it to a joke.
Abuse isn’t always the straight up black and white kind, sometimes it’s not physical but affects us mentally. This mental torture is something we’re just expected to put up with. And by ‘we’ I mean both genders.
Men are sharing heartbreaking stories about exactly this- manipulation, emotional abuse and other problematic behaviour. They are using the #MaybeSheDoesntHitYou and their stories deserve to be heard.
1. What!?
#maybeshedoesnthityou but she threatens to hurt herself if you leave her.
— ya hoe Kip (@kiptheegg) March 27, 2018
2. It needs to be heard.
The #MaybeSheDoesntHitYou hashtag is really important. #MaybeSheDoesntHitYou but she makes you responsible for her happiness and when you put your own health first she harms herself so that "he will talk to me".
I still wake up screaming some nights. Abuse stays with you.
— Andrew Martin Lee (@TransiantArt) March 27, 2018
3. Manipulation is very unhealthy.
#maybeshedoesnthityou but she ia constantly trying to break up with you and manipulating your personality and trying to make you feel bad
— Daniel Barbosa (@Pandi_Riqui) March 28, 2018
4. Absolutely unacceptable.
#maybeshedoesnthityou but constantly criticized your dreams, saying they were naive and not achievable; but constantly told you, you’re not masculine enough, because you didn’t have a sixpack; but made you have sex with her whenever she wanted to, since real men always want sex.
— chris (@chrizzlibit) March 29, 2018
5. Priorities should be equal.
#maybeshedoesnthityou but expects you to come second in regards to her career, her friends, her family but loses her mind if you don’t drop what you’re doing when she wants something.
— Morgan.Dallas (@Morg3nDallas) March 28, 2018
6. That counts as emotional torture.
#maybeshedoesnthityou but she makes you feel guilty for not reading her mind and tries to "teach you a lesson" by pretending to break up with you
— 💜 purple boi 💜 (@nekomell) March 12, 2018
7. This is not love.
#MaybeSheDoesntHitYou but she threatens to leave you, saying you'll never find someone like her and she is holding herself back for you
— uselesslesbian (@peacefully_dead) March 9, 2018
8. Violence of any kinds is a big no-no.
#maybeshedoesnthityou but she throws things near you when she gets mad.
— Luna "emo isn't dead" Vanessa (@Vinyl_9) February 20, 2018
9. Oh God.
#MaybeSheDoesntHitYou but she guilts you for moving on even though she moved on long before you.
— Michael Heaton (@LinuxScouser) February 15, 2018
10. Everyone has feelings which must be respected.
#maybeshedoesnthityou but she emotionally abuses you by discounting and invalidating your own personal emotions and obstacles
— it’s me, elliot! (@agile_peahen) February 13, 2018
11. Abuse is abuse.
#maybeshedoesnthityou honestly needs to get more recognition. Abuse is fucking abuse!!!No matter the gender!!!
— jammy🪐 (@jaegevalle) February 12, 2018
12. Makes you think.
#maybeshedoesnthityou but she emotionally manipulates you every waking moment and makes you hate yourself for still loving her despite everything
— not even french (@Liamheff) February 11, 2018
13. A hundred percent agree.
I would love if people would take a look at the #maybeshedoesnthityou hashtag. Abuse comes in many forms, not just physical, and can be from anyone.
— torrance (@torrinatalia) February 10, 2018
14. They aren’t against each other.
#maybeshedoesnthityou and #metoo shouldn't be attacking each other, they should be supporting each other. Both these movements are about shining a light on social issues that are being overlooked. It isn't about attention, it's about speaking when the world says silence
— Shown (@Shownkindness) February 10, 2018
15. That is very scary.
#maybeshedoesnthityou but she devalues your emotions until you shut them off and go into a depressive spiral and then blames you for it
— Oliver (@twocentstoomuch) February 10, 2018
16. Heartbreaking.
#maybeshedoesnthityou but she leaves a permanent, invisible mark.
— august (@AugustTiberius) February 10, 2018
17. What’s your is yours, boundaries.
#maybeshedoesnthityou but she wants to control your money, work, and social life but acts like its out of love
— Master Banks𓅓 (@CarltonBanksII) January 10, 2018
18. Men can cry, c’mon.
#MaybeSheDoesntHitYou but if you cry, you need to be doing a better job at suppressing your emotions & problems because men aren’t “emotionally damaged”.
— Joseph (@_JosephAnders) January 10, 2018
19. Mental illness is a serious issue.
#maybeshedoesnthityou but she says your mental illness is made up and then beats you when she doesn’t get her way. I was there, I survived.
— eb. 🥀 (@embbb_) October 22, 2017
20. This is eye-opening.
https://twitter.com/McBarz_/status/979145047441424389
Women too started sharing their stories about emotional abuse and took the #MeToo movement a step forward. They used the #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou and let their narratives be heard.
1 . That really isn’t love.
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but if he makes you feel crazy or tells you you’re being dramatic for bringing up something that bothered you #ThatIsntLove
— lex appeal (@alexiscolossal) March 18, 2018
2. Everyone is allowed to have emotions, we’re human after all.
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but when you start to show emotion after them being bottled up for so long he tells you to “just chill” and makes you feel as if you’re crazy
— 🥀 (@charlienollette) March 19, 2018
3. Words hurt.
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he stabs your heart with his cruel comments every day!!
— Samantha Rouse (@SamanthaRouse19) March 26, 2018
4. Love supports doesn’t bring each other down.
https://twitter.com/FreeSpirit963/status/967894542115573762
5. That’s toxic.
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but shuts you down when you try and talk about something you care about
— Emily Watkins (@emilyk_watkins) February 25, 2018
6. No. Please.
https://twitter.com/FreeSpirit963/status/972842500753887232
7. Why are we so mean to each other?
https://twitter.com/NLashbaugh/status/977017397277274112
Being a woman, it’s disheartening that this narrative gets left out in mainstream conversation. Another thing is that, it’s great how #MaybeSheDoesntHitYou is a campaign in its own right. Many men usually, use ‘men get raped too’ to silence female survivors and use Women’s Day to say ‘why isn’t men’s day celebrated?’ But this is brave saviors talking about their own trauma and their trauma alone.
It’s difficult to notice emotional abuse many times as it doesn’t have the same physical symptoms as torture and abuse. However, both leave deep cuts and can scar you for a lifetime. And this is applicable to both genders.
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