Mark Zuckerberg is in India! Wooooooooooooo!
Everyone, including Narendra Modiji, is excited, even though he met him just three weeks ago. I want to ask him so many things – like – “Where do you buy your t-shirts, Mark? They look lovely!” and “What is up with internet.org and all the buzz around it?”
But we should ask him the real questions. The questions all of us want to ask. And hope he has the answers.
1. How can we stop our parents from sending us friends requests?
Can you please design a feature in Facebook to keep all the family members from sending us requests again and again and again? It only gets worse after they start commenting on all our pictures with – “Yeh hai meri rani! Jeete raho!”
2. Why hasn’t *insert name of your crush* accepted my friendship request yet? Can you look into it?
Why? Is he/she out of town? Has he/she not logged on to Facebook? Can you please check and get back to me? It is very important you see.
3. Where is Teja?
This question gets me every time. Heh heh heh heh.
4. Are you and Modi BFFs now?
We could see the love between you two the last time you guys met. That’s why you are in India aren’t you? To meet Modi!
5. Can you please give me job? Pls.
Please. I will finally get marriage offers then. For the sake of my future kids, Mark!
6. Can you please for god’s sake, stop those Candy Crush game requests? Forever!
*My editor screaming from the other room* – “You can block those you ignorant idiot!”
Oh, you can? Never mind, Mark. Good job.
7. What color is this dress?
*evil laugh*
8. Do you still code at Facebook? Or are you now the big boss man?
Or do you just go golfing with your buddies while your engineers code themselves to death? Like Steve Jobs!
*Editor screaming from the other room* – “Steve Jobs did not do that!”
Oh, he didn’t. Oh ok. Ignore that question then.
9. Do you smoke weed, bro? Tell me the truth! You do, don’t you?!
How else would you get the brilliant idea of tailored newsfeed! How many joints a day, Mark? How many?!
10. Do you use your dog to mop the floors of your house?
Seriously. It looks so much more efficient that a Roomba or a vacuum cleaner. Also, with such thick fur, how can she see anything?
P.S. – We find Beast adorable.
If you have any interesting questions other than these magnificent ones, comment below! Maybe (and I am fantasizing) he will comment all his answers below too! Who knows?