A happy and positive heart is the key to all problems. But what is the key to a happy and positive heart? Is it just watching your favourite comedy show every time you feel a little blue? Or gulping down Johnny Walker down the throat? May be that. But, it goes unsaid that these are only temporary fixes. To bring about a permanent change in one’s life, one has to take the inner route. And following are some of the many toxic feelings that one should let go off because it is these feelings that keep us from finding true happiness.
1. You think of yourself as a house of faults
“I can’t cook”, “I can’t ride”, “I was so vivacious once and now I am such a boring personality”, “I am good for nothing”.
You have a fault when you think you do. Otherwise, your faults are nothing but different facets of your personality. Accept them and improve the ones that you think need improvement. But never ever let your screwed up thoughts about what you cannot do, overshadow what you can do.
2. You see the glass half empty
Your college life is over and you think you can’t be happy again! You lost your favourite shoes to slush in rain and you think the worst has happened. You are not tall enough and you think your personality is unattractive.
All things that you wish were yours get your lips drooping and you start to curse your life. But you have to realize that life of almost every other person in this world is “decorated” with all kinds of emotions. Yes, it is decorated because when you can’t sing in the right notes, you can give yourself and your friends a good laugh by singing “Gumnaam hai koi” in the tone of a nursery rhyme. Would not that be beautiful? All you need is a little change in perspective. It is all about spotting the yellow in your blue and then you are good to go 🙂
3. Your happiness or sadness is determined by what others think of you
There is a lawyer in each one of us. Everyone is making assumptions of how others are, either secretly, or out loud. Some get you right while some others judge you wrong. But letting what other think of you frame your personality will never let you find your own real self, and will always keep you feeling like a loser. Nobody, sometimes not even your parents, know the real you. So stick to being you, and do not let others be the boss of you. You dress the way you do because you find it comforting, you dance the way you do because that’s how you feel liberated. When you don’t let these parts of you deter your performance in life, then how does it matter what others think of you? Don’t let others tell you what you should be happy or sad about. Live, feel, and grow on your own terms.
4. You are always wondering about the culprits behind your not-so-great life
“If only I had done that”, “If only I had enough money”, “If only I had not made that sale”, “If only I had taken care of this matter when it first came up”. If only!
It is not uncommon for the ‘If Only’ phase to strike us every now and then, but questioning everything about your life will never give you enough time to focus on the good part of it. Find your happiness in today, walk and work through your path, and eventually you will be able see ‘If Only’ translate into reality.
5. You are always guilty of not being able to give your parents a comfortable life that they truly deserve
Living to contribute happiness in others’ lives is a trait of the selfless and the daredevil. But the path to be able to support the entire family financially is hard and full of set backs. There will be times when you will feel that you have not done enough, that you will never be able to repay for all the sacrifices that your parents have done for you, there will be times when you will feel guilty of being an incapable son/daughter. That guilt and the many trials, will keep you from living your own life. It is selfless to put smiles on others’ faces but, in order to do so it is only intelligent to keep yourself happy first because a depressed heart can never work well.
6. The fact that every kid in your school is now studying in fancy foreign institutions gets you down
Each time you see your school friend posing like a beauty queen by the foreign seas, you feel that your life is the worst. Each time you see them in their convocation robes and hats, you start cursing your inadequate finances. You think you are running behind time and missing out on so much of learning and enjoying.
But if they are able to do so now, does that mean you won’t be able to do so ever? May be you will end up doing something even more awesome. So awesome that the world will take notice. It is just the matter of keeping that passion burning to do something great alive in your heart. So meanwhile, enjoy what you are doing today instead of feeling left behind. And who said that it is mandatory to become a post graduate by 23 anyway? And who said that only text books hold all the knowledge in the world?
7. The constant feeling of being broke
You do not have to be an Ambani to be happy, for a man satisfied in heart can never go broke. And if you want to see it, being broke has its own perks. It is a different kind of feeling altogether when you watch your favourite TV sitcom sitting on the floor mat, and eating puffed rice all day long. Also, days with no money are the days when you get to see the warm and selfless side of your friends. Money can always bounce back, so meanwhile, pay your loans duly and enjoy the calm in the moonlight of your poor nights.
8. You hate to see others doing well in their lives
Why? If they are doing well, so are you. There are things in your life that they don’t have and so is vice versa. When you enjoy sunbathing, they feel envious. When they enjoy rains, you feel envious. Things will never be same for all. So would not it be better to stop feeling bad about how well others are doing and start finding peace in your own weather?
9. You take criticisms to heart
Criticism hurts, there is no doubt about that. Those who criticize don’t know that you had to force your brain to frame articulate sentences while it was numb due to anti-depressants. They all will have things to say, but no one else but only you will be aware of your truth. Thus, letting each and every sharp tongue slash your heart is like hurting yourself deliberately. Let the world pin-point your flaws. You do your job of accepting the ones that will help you prosper and for the rest, learn to give a deaf ear. Otherwise, you will never run out of reasons to feel blue.
10. You want every one to like you
They can’t because every one has a different opinion about everything. Even the great Mahatma Gandhi has a few haters, so you should not be surprised if the most right thing you have done so far has backfired and has gotten people to turn their backs on you. People cannot like you for many reasons. Some might be jealous of you doing well in life, while some others won’t like you because they don’t stand by your views. There are going to be haters of variety; do you really have enough time to contemplate on why so many people don’t appreciate you enough? You don’t need such people in your life, after all they are not the ones who will pull you out of miseries. So stick to those who value you, and as for the others, learn to let them go.
11. You are always skeptical about your future
Will I ever be able to own a house of my own? Will I ever be able to get over him/her? Will I ever be able to dance again?…The list of your “Will I’s” is nothing but a sheer waste of time. Every time you start questioning, “Where do I see myself 5 years into the future?”, your mind will crop up a hundred reasons as to why you won’t be able to achieve your life goals. So next time you start day dreaming about your future self, pray that you find enough strength to get rid of any woes that may befall. Pray that you are able to find your happiness no matter how messy your life turns out to be.
They say that just as nights make way for days, sad days also make way for happy ones. But I say, why wait for happiness to kiss your feet when you can let your heart smile right now? Wear your happy goggles today and no matter how dark the night may seem, you will find your solace in the light of stars and the moon.