Female Software Engineer Working Long Hours Asks How To Take Care Of Work & Family, Desis Respond

There is too much pressure on working women to further their careers as well as look after the household. People think that just because she is a woman, the onus is on her to take care of the family’s needs. And if she works in a competitive field which requires her to work long hours, her family will try to convince her to take up a job that is less demanding.

Similarly, a female software engineer took to Reddit under the subreddit r/developersIndia to reveal that her family is asking her to find a government job because her work is too hectic. She spends 10-12 hours in front of the screen and later studies to upskill herself.

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“Lately, my family is seeing that my work has gone too hectic. I am glued to my screen for 10-12 hours. After that, I study for 3-4 hours because I want to upskill myself. My family every now and then talks about why I should prepare for govt job like UPSC or bank because it will be less hectic,” she wrote.

She further claimed that her family worries that as a woman, she will find it difficult to take care of the family and pursue her career after she is married.

“Their reasoning is that after marriage, as a woman, I won’t be able to follow this hectic schedule along with family. Also, they talk about job security which is there in govt jobs. I want to be a software engineer, this is for sure.”

Have a look at her full post here:

How do female Software Engineers manage both hectic work and family? from developersIndia

Several people, many of them fellow software developers, took to the comments section to shower her with advice. Here’s what they suggested:

After marriage, hire house helps and cooks who will take care of all the household chores like laundry, cleaning the dishes, etc.

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Moving to a company at a better position that doesn’t demand long hours as her current job.


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Civil services jobs are no less hectic. In fact, it is quite the opposite.

Having a thoughtful and kind partner who is willing to share the responsibilities is half the battle won.

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Marrying into a household which won’t treat you as a maid.

At the end of it all, one needs a supportive family.

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