Our parents have a huge say in our lives and often shape the decisions that we are willing to take. Some may call it control; others may call it concern. But whenever we have a major decision to make, be it moving to another city or financial planning, we often hold our parents’ opinions in high regard.
However, one employer named Caleb Friesen came across a candidate who turned down a job offer because their parents wouldn’t allow them to relocate to a different city. He took to Twitter to express his frustration over the kind of control Indian parents have over their kids.
A prospective hire that we were offering a career-making position to just declined our offer because their parents won't allow them to relocate to Bengaluru.
As an employer, the amount of control Indian parents have over their adult children frustrates me to no end.
— Caleb Friesen (@caleb_friesen2) August 31, 2022
This sparked a massive debate online. On one hand, some people shared similar experiences of their parents controlling their lives. But on the other hand, a few highlighted how it might be just a made-up excuse by the candidate because they couldn’t outrightly say ‘no’ to the job offer.
You should start interview process with the question “Will your parents allow you to relocate?” 😀
— hiren (@PanditHiren) September 1, 2022
This is my story, I am from Hyderabad I got a Video editing internship in a top company in Mumbai, my parents just wouldn’t allow forget funding, now I rebelled a lot trying for a digital marketing job and moving to Bangalore soon, no matter what!
— Saurav Nalla (@sauravnalla) August 31, 2022
If the candidate is that good, you should consider them for a hybrid role. “Parents aren’t allowing” is something that us Indians say when we don’t want to do it ourselves 😉 ! So he might probably not be willing to relocate. So a hybrid role would be great for this.
— Khyati thakur (@Khyatithakur3) September 1, 2022
While this is true, beware that a lot of Indians will randomly muddle their parents name to merely escape an uncomfortable situation or conversation
— Dinesh Rathi (@dineshsrathi) August 31, 2022
Indian here, my parents emotionally blackmailed me to stay with them to 29 years old. I finally couldnt take it anymore and left the house, living in my own now and i feel 100x better.
— Sunny (@Sunny36625081) September 1, 2022
Ah you have no idea about Indian parents, they choose for their kiddos for lifelong.. until the adult kiddo is rebellion.. I’m 29 and even i recently came out of shell..
— Chacha chaudhary (@Vipinkhatri0) August 31, 2022
After I graduated I didn’t have any job waiting for me. I wanted to travel to Bangalore for job Hunt and my parents were against me moving to Bangalore. But here I am, it’s almost a decade in Bangalore for me and my parents are happier. Sometimes we have to take tough decisions.
— prabhuraj kodabal (@kodabal) September 1, 2022
Since Indian parents “invest” in their children’s education and provide even adult children with housing and sustenance, they exert control over their lives – from career to marriage to when to have kids. Children in turn carry it over to their own children.
— Yash Gadhiya (@yashg) September 1, 2022
There was also a section of people who sided with Indian parents and said that it is out of concern that they try to influence their kids’ decisions for the better.
It is not control. It is love and concern – and Indian adult children get a lot of social, emotional and in many cases financial support as well from their parents, even if they are old and ageing. 🙂
— Ekta (@ektapunn) September 1, 2022
Parents care for wellbeing of their offspring – culture of India. Having operated in India for this long, it should have registered in your head.
Your inability to adapt cannot be a frustration you vent, on a high culture, u haven’t bothered to understand, respect & accept— Arun Subramanian (@ArunBytes) September 1, 2022
Your tweet shows you have not understood India. If you can start appreciating Indian culture, understand the psyche of people and not criticize it, it will help you attract and retain people
— D Prasanth Nair (@DPrasanthNair) September 1, 2022
Deal with it. It’s called understanding another culture and figuring out how to work with it. Not expecting your cultural norms to apply here straightaway. May be (extended) families mean more in some cultures than the others and it’s not just about “career choices”.
— katapayadi (@katapayadi) September 1, 2022
It is the urge to control or out of concern – why do you think Indian parents demand a say in their kids’ life decisions?