In Indian society, it is customary for a woman to leave her parental home and move in with her husband’s family after marriage. Women who deviate from this traditional family structure are often termed as “homebreakers”. When a woman expresses the desire to live separately from her in-laws with her husband and children, she is met with immense apprehension and criticism, in most cases.
However, societal norms and perspectives have been evolving over the years to get rid of gender inequalities and imbalances. We now realise that it is perfectly normal for a woman to want to live separately from her in-laws with her husband. Which is why, a recent ruling by the Delhi High Court was met with significant criticism from people.
The Delhi High Court claimed that a wife persistently insisting her husband to live separately from the in-laws is a form of cruelty.
“If the wife makes an attempt to deviate from the custom prevalent in the society, she must have some justifiable reason for that. Normally, no husband would tolerate and would like to be separated from his parents and other family members. The persistent efforts of respondent wife to constrain the appellant to be separated from the family would be torturous for the husband and would constitute an act of cruelty,” Indian Express quoted the bench saying.
This was said during a court hearing of a divorce case where the husband claimed that his wife was a “quarrelsome lady” who allegedly did not respect the elders of the family and wanted to live separately, to which he did not agree and hence wanted to separate.
“The only inference that can be drawn is that her insistence to live separately from the other family members was whimsical and had no justifiable reason. Such persistent insistence can only be termed as an act of cruelty. The appellant (husband) has stated that there was constant bickering and abuse and that she wanted to live a luxurious life and insulted the appellant and his family members, refused to do her household work, and was quarrelsome with the family members. Such incident as narrated by the appellant may seem innocuous when considered individually, but when considered collectively, it shows that there was no peace in the matrimonial home,” the bench said.
On hearing this news, several people online slammed the Delhi High Court for such an observation and raised several questions. Here’s a look at some of the responses:
Oh nice. Since this sets precedent, can women claim cruelty for being forced to live apart from the parents who raised and cared for them all their lives? If not, why not? Our courts are a revelation everyday. https://t.co/gRNNyD5uz3
— Rituparna Chatterjee (@MasalaBai) August 24, 2023
The society did not teach men how to care for their dependents and expect someone else's daughter to fill in.
Honestly, you all refused to raise your sons better and the daughters have been burdened enough. https://t.co/3xN4YuhPNJ
— seething and growing (@keepsitrustic) August 25, 2023
If forcing a spouse to live apart from their parents is cruelty, almost every married woman is a victim! https://t.co/TEBI7ltSIW
— Natasha Ramarathnam (@nuts2406) August 24, 2023
Men who leave their parents’ house to go to bigger cities or abroad for better opportunities and freedom should also be declared cruel then. https://t.co/g8NN6q90fg
— Neha Kapoor (@PWNeha) August 24, 2023
These cruel wives living away from their parents is also cruelty by the husbands inflicted upon the other set of parents who have been always regarded as less important then. https://t.co/Em4JI7jtqg
— Doctor (@DipshikhaGhosh) August 24, 2023
"without justification". No reason is good enough for a husband who refuses leave his parents' home.
Rude in laws? Adjust maadi
Asking for dowry? Adjust maadi
Interfering? Adjust maadiOnly thing that's justifiable acc. to them is visible physical violence. Even then not always https://t.co/Bhw8xEW8d4
— Sandhya (@TheRestlessQuil) August 24, 2023
Expecting us to give up our family, identity and home for marriage is cruelty. Telling us to 'obey' our husbands and prioritise people we just met over our parents is cruelty. So, we should be cruel for doing something that has been the prerogative of men for centuries https://t.co/7i6sOa6lGN
— Bookmarked (@Archarrival) August 24, 2023
Well then ban men from leaving their homes for education and work. That too is cruelty towards his parents. They must stay at home, just like their wives whom men often leave behind when they move for work. https://t.co/xDEtJACIfk
— khwab⁷ (@khwabbie) August 24, 2023
And what about men when they refuse to even go and see the sick parents of the wives? What about men who don't want to marry someone who has the responsibility of a parent? That's "benevolence"? https://t.co/KlvjpOrNZ8
— 𝖀𝖕𝖆𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆 𝕭𝖆𝖓𝖊𝖗𝖏𝖊𝖊 ☀️ (@UpasonaB) August 24, 2023
If this is what judges think, there is no hope for Indian women. Why is it so wrong for a woman to want to set up her own home? https://t.co/zj3PdFNpkO
— PREETI SINGH (@preetitejsingh) August 24, 2023
What are your views on this issue?