Maybe Not An Orgasm, But These ‘Days Without Sex’ Jokes Will Definitely Give You A LOLGasm!

You think what people do in their bedrooms is real private stuff? And what about what people don’t do? Like sex, for example!

Usually, people prefer boasting about their bangin’ sexual lives in public, and complain about not getting any action in private to their friends. But something quite ‘ulta‘ is happening on Twitter!

People are sharing what days worth of sex deprivation has done to them with these insanely funny ‘x Days without sex’ jokes! And I don’t know much about an orgasm, but a LOLgasm is guaranteed for sure!

You’ll feel sorry for them. If you’re not getting any action yourself, you’ll probably relate and feel sorry for yourself too. But mostly, you’re going to laugh a lot!

A side-effect of not having sex for prolonged periods of time!

approx 468 days without sex and i’m pretty sure my virginity has grown back

— em (@voidemma) July 13, 2018

I’m kidding, okay. This is a joke. No science here. JOKE.

But would you get mad at them if they screamed the wrong name?

https://twitter.com/melissahallas/status/1017812962675953664

Sadly, the only use of your mouth right now!

Day 659 without sex. Showed my ice cream cone what that mouth do👅🍦 #dayswithoutsex

— Arreola (@ms_arreola13) July 17, 2018

Not the joyride we want, but the joyride we need right now!

https://twitter.com/Appreciiationn/status/1019051804921860096

Just trying to take it all in… if you know what she means!

https://twitter.com/Nichole57129209/status/1018657708541693952

*Gulp* the feels!

Day 324 without sex: the dentist told me to spit and I swallowed.#dayswithoutsex

— days without sex (@dayswitout_sex) July 17, 2018

As Christian Grey would say, “That’s Fifty Shades of f***ed up!”

https://twitter.com/Appreciiationn/status/1016414266558238721

Just glad traffic rules are being followed at this point, TBH!

Day 98 without sex. I slammed my breaks so my seatbelt could choke me. #dayswithoutsex

— Vijay Amarshi (@vijayamarshi) July 14, 2018

Mosquito bites =  Hickeys!

Day 283 without sex: A mosquito sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit

— ClifSosa (@ClifSosa) July 12, 2018

There. That’s desperation.

Day 328 without sex: went to the playground and got on the seesaw so i could remember what it felt like to go up and down with something inbetween my legs#dayswithoutsex

— days without sex (@dayswitout_sex) July 18, 2018

They sure know where that sweet spot is!

388 #dayswithoutsex: Went to the gynecologist so i can remember what it’s like to be touched by someone else who knows what they’re doing.

— Putita Linda (@Selenaa420) July 17, 2018

#ForeverAlone Level:

day 106 without sex and I text myself last night at 2am asking if I was up

— kaitlyn ♡ (@kaaittllynn) July 20, 2018

Pretty sure that car and the owner need some pretty good ‘servicing’ now!

day 324 without sex: someone rear-ended my car and i shouted “harder” out the window

— j (@neeedyhomo) July 19, 2018

Wait, what does that even—Ooooooooh, I see what you did there!

Day 71 without sex: my smart watch thinks I’ve jogged 3 miles today but I havent left the hosue

— Joey McGuire (@m_cGuire) July 13, 2018

When your phone getting more action than you….

day 213 without sex: plugged my charger into my phone and whispered “you like that?”

— David Allen (@allen88_d) July 16, 2018

When sex was so long ago that you don’t even remember it anymore….

https://twitter.com/femmefiercely/status/1018279642766114816

Hahahaha! Did laughter come? I’m pretty sure it came! As for you coming… ah well! Life’s hard! And that’s why….

Day 0 without sex: life fucks me everyday

— D.J.Thompson (@Dalton_AFarrier) July 17, 2018

There ya go! Action, finally!