In your lifetime, you come across many people. Some know what they are saying and some don’t. Some want to know everything and some are okay being a recluse. Some tend to speak a lot and some like to say quiet. Some like to get very touchy while talking and some hate human touch. While I could lay out a lot of some’s for you…this article is a special dedication to a certain unique set of people.
There’s a special class that thinks they know a lot and tend to speak about everything, but are basically are Jon Snow. They know nothing. Sometimes, they can get on your nerves, because according to them the world is stupid. Or, a smart person, who is saying smart things is probably just making shit up.
Can you relate to my description of that one person? Are you able to imagine that one person in your mind right now? Well, here’s a comprehensive Reddit guide to how to deal with a person who is full of confidence but knows nothing.
1. Cash in on this one people!
2. Just the right thing to do.
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I was once sober caring for a friend who was super drunk, crying about inconsequential stuff and had been vomiting for an hour. A slightly less drunk friend of my super drunk friend was trying to help her too.
He kept getting in my way, dropping her hair in her own vomit and taking her drunken crying waaaay too seriously, all the while with this insufferable ‘I know what’s best’ attitude that can only come from a drunk person.
While I was trying to cheer her up, he kept legitimising whatever she was crying about. (“Oh my God babes, you dropped a glass?! Oh my god, I loved that glass! I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but THERE WILL BE OTHER GLASSES!”) Plus he kept telling her to stick her fingers down her throat to induce even more vomiting once it had subsided. When I suggested that drinking a glass of water might be more helpful he went: “No, trust me. [dramatic pause] I used to be bulimic.”
…which is obviously super relevant to this situation.
In the end I ended up asking him to keep other people out of the bathroom. I just couldn’t do that on my own and it needed his type of special skill set. He happily trotted off to do his very important job and I could finally get my friend part way sober, out of the bathroom, into her PJs and into bed.
3. This sounds about right.
For example play dumb and let them try to explain it to you in style and they will realize they don’t know anything about it
4. Someone seems to have given up.
5. If they don’t listen, you have to resort to this method.
6. Well said, Sherlock!
7. Now this is a little bit too harsh.
Before we go any further, hear me out. See, the world is full of a lot of hate. If you know a person, who you think is a little annoying because of these habits, you should really consider talking to them. I know it is going to be hard, but what are we doing if we are only ignoring them, or making them go away or thinking that they are stupid. Take these Reddit answers as a cue to understand them and maybe help them in some way.
8. Well all know a person like this. It might be someone very close.
9. Try this, one of the soundest advice in store.
Things that can change how I interact with them is the level of stupidity they are exhibiting, if they’re in a position of authority over me (boss at work, commanding officer, teacher), if they’re a decent person as opposed to an asshole, if they’re very young and still learning, if there’s actually something important at stake in the interaction like someone’s health or money, and a lot of other things – the list is quite long.
If there’s a chance of educating them, I’ll try and do it, but will be prepared to quickly abandon ship if it’s clear that’s going nowhere. This works well on Facebook where there’s an awful lot of stupidity and unfounded information posted by an awful lot of people.
If the interaction is not important now or in the future, I just minimize my interactions as much as possible. I politely or, if they’re really being a jerk, impolitely leave the interaction. A polite way I use is “Well, we really strongly disagree on this, and I don’t think we can change each others’ minds, so how about we just move on.”
If they’ve a right to instruct or tell me what to do and I know they’re wrong, how I answer depends on how important whatever they’re telling me to do is. If I REALLY disagree with it and I can get away with it, I ask them “are you sure?” and to tell me in writing to cover my ass if that’s an option. And I don’t do that in front of other people because that just gets them all defensive.
The trick is to know when it’s worth continuing the interaction and when it’s not… and to not get out quickly if it’s the latter.
10. And this one, for a more methodical approach.
I’m currently training people who are just out of college at a Fortune 250 company. Effectively dealing with this type of person is essentially my day to day profession.
First: Figure out why they have the false confidence. Sometimes its a defense or compensation mechanism trying to mask self esteem issues. Sometimes its just due to having not had any real challenges in life yet. In the first case, you’re going to want to help set them up for scenarios that they can ‘win’ and feel genuine confidence about. Once actual confidence has been developed then their ego will typically be able to take the hit from future feedback. In the second case, as was mentioned, frame everything as a question. Be sure you have the correct answers ready with supporting material to show how you got there and how they can get there in the future. Be understanding of incorrect answers.
Second: Recognize that the person has value, even if they are stupid. You’re probably dealing with these people in a professional or educational environment, otherwise why deal with them at all? So if you’re required to be there and they are as well, recognize that their time is just as valuable as yours. Respect them. Showing respect is the best way to get people on your side and to drop any sort of bluster or what not.
Third: Set expectations. Make sure that your expectations are very clearly stated. If they are a stupid person, don’t assume that they will understand the implications of any information that you give them.
Those tips seem to work well for me.
A lot of things go down because of hate. To quote an example, see… Jon Snow also knows nothing, but he is a good person at heart. So you love him anyway, right? If a Facebook/Internet troll is being a stupid jerk to you, you should choose to ignore them. But if it is someone you care about, you should definitely try to help them.
Choose your method wisely.