15 Things You’d Like To Say To Your Ex’s Current Girlfriend

He was your bae, now he’s just someone you knew, with a new beau. But no matter how much you’ve risen above stuff, matured, moved on, this dude still messes with your head by the mere act of existing. He isn’t your soulmate or even your friend, but he’s still the guy who broke your heart. So when you see a girl dangling from his arm, you have the undeniable urge of, first, punching him in his face and secondly, telling her a few things that you’d probably never say.

So when an opportunity does present itself and you meet his brand new girlfriend face to face, here’s what’s going to be going on in your head.

1. He’s just holds the door and pulls out your chair during the first six months, after that you’ll find yourself being hit in the face by a glass door more often than not.

 

2. He’s cheated on more than one of his ex girlfriends, so be careful you might be next on the list.

 

3. You think he gave you a unique nickname? Guess what. He even calls his chick best friend ‘Doll’.

 

4. He’s John Snow in the female anatomy department.

 

5. He’s going to put his friends before you each and every time, even when it’s your birthday.

 

6. He’s not well endowed upstairs or downstairs. If you know what I mean

 

7. He’s a feminist, he’ll make you pay for both, himself and you.

 

8. How does it feel doing the same things, in the same places, with the same guy, as I did less than a month ago?

 

9. Did he tell you that you’re the first girl he said ‘I love you’ and actually meant it? Guess what, you need to get in line, behind me.

 

10. His mom still messages me on Facebook, asking me to come home for dinner.

 

11. That hoodie of his you love so much and keep clicking pictures in? I gifted it to him, so technically you’re wearing something I paid for.

 

12. The one thing he does really well in bed, yeah, you know what I’m talking about, was taught by me.

 

13. And yeah, did I mention, he wanted ‘one last memory’ with me and it happened to be one day before you guys got together.

 

14. Yes, he still texts me and flirts with me, even though he told you I’m the one who can’t get over him.

 

15. All the best.

But you know what? We can’t wait for you to find out, because the look on your face is going to be priceless.

What say ladies?

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