Disclaimer: Don’t read this if you’re hungry or craving something sweet!
I remember when I was a psychology student in college, it was a sort of norm for us to be picked by our seniors as subjects for their experiments. And most of the time, it was all pretty much fixed. Still, as a subject, you could still feel the stress of not messing with the results because of your stupidity! Science ain’t no joke, bitches!
But I guess, reading the following thread might’ve changed my perspective greatly. Maybe sometimes, it is a good, nay, great idea to ruin such science experiments that might secretly promote fat-shaming somehow.
Twitter user Nicole Stamp wrote a thread about how she was a subject for one such science experiment. A psychology study that she managed to spectacularly ruin just by being herself!
My university roommate just reminded me that one time, in first year, I signed up to be a guinea pig in a psychology study and it was the best study ever…
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
Why was it the best study ever? Well, for starters, Nicole was getting paid for it. And then, of course, there were cookies!
The rate was $15 for an hour. I was brought into a small blank room with a computer and a plate of tiny cookies on the table.
I was invited to help myself, so I tried one.
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
The cookies were great AND they had been microwaved, so they were warm and chewy, just excellent. I had a couple.
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
TBH, if you ask me, people who say no to cookies shouldn’t be trusted anyway.
Anyhoo, the researcher was back to make Nicole earn those free cookies by giving her a quiz to do. Of all things, it was about body image!
The researcher asked me to do a quiz
It was about body image.
How often did I feel fat? How often did I work out? Was I dieting? Did I tend to avoid fatty foods? The thing is,
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
no no and no. I have never really had the willpower or interest required to sustain any kind of diet and I really like foods that are high in fat- basically I eat like a medieval king. So I filled out their quiz and all my answers were YUM YUM YOM I LOVES FOODS
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
Yep, that’s what I would do too!
After the quiz, Nicole was all ready for the second half of the experiment, but there was a twist…. Instead of the second part, it was return of those yumm cookies.
I finished the quiz and they were like "ok we need to go get the next activity but we left it in the other lab- can you wait here for like 10 minutes? I looked over at the little plate of cookies and was like YEP YEP YEP
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
Not like Nicole had any problems with the cookies making a comeback! Only a total pscyho (or, like a diabetic, would, I guess)
But what came after that was a total curve ball!
Then the researcher came back and was like "ok you can go now"
and I was like "what about the other part of the experiment?"
and she was like "uhhh we had a computer crash or whatever"
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
See normally, anyone would be like “Yay, free cookies, no self-doubting psych experiment. This is a win-win!”
Nicole, however, had a sudden flash of insight into what exactly had happened here!
Those sly cookies were the experiment!
And I had a flash of insight: "Wait. There WAS no other activity. The real experiment was to count how many cookies I ate."
And she was like "yep"
And I was like "Uhhhh… I ate a lot"
And she was like "I KNOW"
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
Whoaaa.
Nicole’s next assumption was slightly more sinister…
And I was like "Wait, was that quiz intended to fat shame me into eating fewer cookies? Like was the hypothesis, "We think being fat shamed make a teenage girl eat fewer delicious cookies?"
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
And shocker! Her assumption was right! And clearly, Nicole had blown some 20 cookie-sized holes into the study’s hypothesis!
And she was like "uhhh that's not how we phrased it, but… yes"
And I was like "Does it usually work?"
And she was like "Wellllllll yes? Most people eat
2 cookies"Friends, I had eaten at least 20 cookies.
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
Best part, though? No hard feelings, plus getting paid $15 for it!
I felt kind of…. proud.
And then to make things even better, then she handed me my $15!
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
Until, of course, Nicole tried to push it and failed.
As I left I was like, "Hey can I take a few more of them there cookies?"
And she was like NO
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
Wow, she REALLY loves cookies, doesn’t she? Yeah,okay, me too. Same.
Now see, this science experiment could’ve gone completely right. And then Nicole would’ve been fat-shamed into not eating those cookies. The results might have proved the hypothesis but Nicole would’ve probably been upset.
Instead, she ruined the study, got to eat yummy cookies, and went on to give us this funny and warm feel-good Twitter thread to read! I think I like this version better!
So that's the story of the best science experiment I ever ruined.
It seems unethical to try to get people to feel bad enough to avoid cookies.
I'm glad I ruined their shitty data by being shameless about liking food.
— Nicole Stamp (@nicolestamp) August 15, 2018
And so does Twitter!
The Tweeple are sometimes such a bowl of mush!
The greatest science experiment ever!
Please read the story of the greatest science experiment ever https://t.co/lyCNMv6w6E
— Doug Robertson (@TheWeirdTeacher) August 19, 2018
A nice middle finger to science, if you will!
This is the best way to fuck up science https://t.co/BxhqUxRIv1
— Taryn (@_aceinthehole) August 18, 2018
We’ve discovered a new life goal! Thanks, Nicole!
"Eat like a medieval King" is a legit life goal https://t.co/Gasx0q82Y2
— Leah Shaffer (@LeahabShaffer) August 18, 2018
That’s why I very wisely put a disclaimer at the start!
I'm in love with this story. And now I want cookies. https://t.co/n0QkUW9Zyf
— Rosetta Stone, fancy beast (@LindseyHalsell) August 20, 2018
An important lesson to learn for all future researchers!
Best 'participant in research' anecdote EVER! Thanks @nicolestamp You didn't ruin anything – you reminded the researchers that shame is a poor tool to use for behaviour change.
And some home truths for researchers to remember too… design studies with this scenario in mind. https://t.co/ie7IlqcOus
— Dr Suzanna Forwood (@SuzannaWood) August 21, 2018
Dear scientists, The Subject Remembers!
thread. btw, scientists: your old subjects will remember you and discuss your ethics later https://t.co/m6UpZPqhnc
— RationalWiki (@RationalWiki) August 18, 2018
So, kids, what’s the moral of this story, eh?
Moral of this story: Eat ALL the damn cookies. https://t.co/Cd2akyaShF
— Melinda Beatty (@PoorRobin) August 17, 2018
I’ll say YOLO to that!
