They say love makes you do crazy things. Of course, that’s been true since time immemorial. However, does love make you BELIEVE in crazy things too?
This guy was concerned because his wife was behaving suspiciously around their new neighbours and posted his query on Reddit under the name helpmesavemyrelation (I’m sorry, could you be any more subtle? :P). The post has since been removed but it did reveal some interesting details.Â
So let me start by saying my wife and I have always had a great relationship. We have never really fought or argued and are on the same page about nearly everything. That was the case until our new neighbors Jill [30F] and Paul [30M] (approximate ages) moved in next door.
A few days after they moved in, my wife went to introduce herself and welcome them to the neighborhood. She visited them a few more times over the next few days, once for quite a while. I’m not sure how long she was gone but she made a big deal of telling me how she’d taken them for a long walk around the neighborhood to show them around and really make them feel welcome.
Over the next few weeks I noticed she was behaving a little strangely, she would sit for hours on her phone every evening and take it with her everywhere she went. I asked to use it on several occasions but every time she said she couldn’t remember the passcode to unlock it and would only ever type it in for me, then watch over my shoulder while I used it, snatching it back once I was done.
A week ago, Jill visited us for a girly night in with my wife. I was playing Xbox in another room, so couldn’t hear their full conversation, but there was a lot of giggling and talk of “our little secret”.
When my wife came to check on me I questioned her about it and she dismissed it as a girl problem Jill was having.
When my wife came to check on me I questioned her about it and she dismissed it as a girl problem Jill was having.
Later on in the evening we were all in the kitchen looking for some more wine when Jill said there was some next door at her house and that my wife was welcome to go and get it, but that she had drunk enough that she would probably pass out if she went home herself. My wife didn’t seem to want to go and asked what would happen if Paul was getting out of the shower thinking he was home alone. Jill said “well it’s nothing you haven’t seen before” and they both started giggling again.
I asked what she meant and Jill said she meant my wife had seen a man naked before and that Paul wasn’t as self conscious as most men. I offered to go myself but they said that would be a bad idea in case he thought there was an intruder in the house.
She was gone about 15 minutes during which time Jill, slurring her words a lot, told me she thought my wife was sexy and that I was a lucky man.
When my wife came back she said she was tired and needed to go to bed, Jill was too and went home to Paul.
In the morning I asked her why she had taken so long and why she suddenly got so tired. I didn’t think that anything had been going on, because I trust her, but I don’t know or trust him. This turned into an argument about other things including her phone which I demanded to see. She refused and stormed out of the house and went off in her car.
When she returned she apologized and handed me her phone saying that I could look as much as I wanted. All of her photos and text messages had been deleted except for one or two with me and her sister. I asked her about that and she said she always deletes messages after she has read them.
I’m not proud of this, but I logged in to her Macbook and looked at the photos in her Dropbox, which I know her phone backs up to every night. There were some very revealing photos of Paul and some with Jill in them too, as well as some of my wife in suggestive poses that I had never seen before.
I confronted her with this and she broke down and admitted that she’d walked in on them having sex on the floor of their hallway on one of those first times she visited them, felt terribly embarrassed and left immediately and gone for a long walk on her own, but was too embarrassed to say anything to me. She’d got to know them better later and they had been teasing her about it. She deleted the photos because she thought I’d think something more was going on.
I’m not proud of this, but I logged in to her Macbook and looked at the photos in her Dropbox, which I know her phone backs up to every night. There were some very revealing photos of Paul and some with Jill in them too, as well as some of my wife in suggestive poses that I had never seen before.
I confronted her with this and she broke down and admitted that she’d walked in on them having sex on the floor of their hallway on one of those first times she visited them, felt terribly embarrassed and left immediately and gone for a long walk on her own, but was too embarrassed to say anything to me. She’d got to know them better later and they had been teasing her about it. She deleted the photos because she thought I’d think something more was going on.
She wanted to clear her head after this so went out for a walk again. I wanted to apologize for how I had acted so after a few minutes I tried to follow her but couldn’t find her. I sat outside the house waiting for her to come back and then noticed her come out from Jill and Paul’s house. She said that she had just gone in on her way back home to return something she had borrowed, but I didn’t see her go in the whole time I was sat there.
We had another argument about why she was letting them come between us and causing trouble for our relationship, and I asked her again what was going on with the pictures. She eventually confessed that she had walked in on them having sex, but had not left straight away. She’d stayed and talked to them until they finished and even handed them each a beer while they were going at it.
She now considers the matter closed and wants to go back to normal but I can’t help feeling a little hurt when she disappears to their house. I have said we should do more things together and offered to go with her but she said they might feel a little awkward as they know we have been fighting.
Now I’m not sure what to think. Was this cheating? She didn’t actually touch either of them and said that she didn’t even think of it as a sexual situation, just talking to two friends. Am I being unreasonable for even being bothered by this?
TL;DR Wife has been acting suspiciously about our new neighbours, has been in the room when they have had sex. How do we move past this?
UPDATE: My head is spinning, it all seems so clear now it’s written down. I’m going to confront the three of them this evening and give them one chance to come clean. I’ll update this post afterwards.
If this poor fellow really believed all that his wife said to him, then it’s true: love does make you BELIEVE in crazy things as well!
Source: Reddit