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Why Society Forces You To Lose Weight And You End Up Losing Your Confidence

byLavanya Shrivastava
19th June 2017
5 minute read

There is this weird obsession that our society is plagued with, APPEARANCE. That’s how anyone is judged. Name calling and shaming is so deeply rooted in the world we live in, that it is impossible to change it.

But has that judgment lead you to believe that you are not worth it? Has it made you question, who you are and has it completely shaken your confidence? Then, you have to get through this article so that we can talk about YOU.

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Consciously pulling a shirt time and again from your body, subconsciously holding a pillow or a bag to your stomach while sitting as if to hide something, dressing up in black in the hottest of days or being a nervous wreck when a camera is in the vicinity…all of these are signs that you are not comfortable in your own skin.

And I ask you, why not?

I agree there are many people who don’t see you for the person you are. They see you as your BMI, your ‘flab’ or will later remember you as – arey, woh moti si joh thi.  But that shouldn’t make you uncomfortable with who you are. 

 

And I come bearing examples of all sorts. Remember, Mzznaki Tetteh, a plus-sized Ghana model who had her Instagram bombarded with body-shaming comments when she posted a beautiful pre-wedding shoot with her husband.

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The comments were like, “Imagine you getting pregnant” or “apart from the health issues… u wud be way too big… u weren’t born fat… so at least try and burn some out.” Do you think that affected Mzznaki or her husband in any way. They are still deeply, madly, savagely in love. She said –

“Still confident…your rubbish comments ain’t ruining my happiness.”

 

Or remember this beautiful young teen Madison who was trolled for being fat and more so, because there was a boy who actually cared about her enough, to take her to prom?

 

Coming home, very recently Harman Baweja’s ‘EPIC transformation’ was in the news because he changed. And the news was being masked as – ‘Remember the guy who dated Priyanka Chopra, this is what he looks like now.’

I dug deeper and I realised that people mostly come to shame other people because as a society, we are trained to believe that being fat is some kind of a disorder. It’s so bad that we all are born with a licence to mock a fat person. It’s like it’s almost an insult.

Aye moti, Aye mote, kitna khayega beey mote, bus kar fat jayega… Why is that funny? It’s not. But people all around laugh it off like nobody’s business. 

 

In fact, our relatives believe that catcalling us in a family gathering and telling us how fat we are, is some kind of motivation is some kind of motivation for us to become thin. No one cares about how a girl/guy feels or goes through when she/he is subjected to jokes all around.

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There was a time when people around me would talk about weight, I would get nervous that they might be talking about me. I was a wreck and an underconfident mess.

And you know what kills me inside is that being fat is the first thing people judge Me by and sometimes that’s about as far as it goes.

 

First of all, let’s clear it once and for all, there is no such thing as ‘you are fat because you are lazy’. Also, the myth that fat people are unhealthy…is just NOT how it works. According to an American study, being overweight does not make you unhealthy at all.

“One can be technically overweight, while also being healthier than even a thinner counterpart.”

 

Another study also points out that people who are overweight avoid consulting doctors as all their problems are boiled down to their weight.

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“Studies show that overweight and obese people tend to avoid doctors, get fewer preventive screenings, and receive worse treatment because they’re often misdiagnosed as “fat” rather than with a specific medical condition.”

I do recommend adopting a healthy lifestyle and losing weight because you think your weight is taking a toll on your health. But don’t procrastinate a problem and consulting a good doctor when it’s necessary.

 

Talking about procrastination, it’s a big problem. I’ll ask that girl out when I am thin, I will wear those hot pants when I am in shape, or I’ll apply for that job when I look like someone who can wear formals. WHY? I dare you to do it today!

“Beautiful, gross, strong, thin, fat, pretty, ugly, sexy, disgusting, flawless, woman. – Amy Schumer”

The end of the story is that I want you to embrace yourself for you are.

Your appearance doesn’t change the person you are inside. Someone wise once told me, no one has the power to affect you until you decide to be affected.

Take it from personal experience, I understand the bullying, I know the struggle of squeezing in through a crowd of people while they stare, I still hear the condescending giggles of boys who I had a major crushes on.

I understand you, I feel but I don’t want you to be meek, hidden and under confident just because you think you don’t look perfect.

You are not someone else’s opinion of you. You are perfect, you are beautiful and you are whoever you believe YOU ARE!

 

And if they tell you that you no one will fall in love with you because you are fat, ask them to eat dirt. Because if someone falls in love with the way you look, they don’t really love you. Still in doubt, take this advice from Vidya Balan.

“A fat girl always feels like a boy will not like her because of her weight. But there is only so much a boyfriend, a husband and your family can do. But I know that love is non negotiable and at the end of the day, you have to come to terms with who you are.”

So go ahead and rock those curves and stand-up to those who think, that being overweight is funny. Don’t let anyone get to you. Go and get your dreams!

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