Love brings contentment, the likes of which even the hardest of drugs cannot match. Even the satiated cocaine addict craves for affection, and no one can really blame him.
It’s so much more than a chemical reaction in our brains. It goes so much deeper than even our self, we end up caring for that person for life.
It cuts through resentment, heartbreaks, apathy, age and stone-cold souls. But even though it endures, humans spoil the essence of it temporarily, when they crave for more – more love, someone else, something more – a zing, a dash of lemon on that already-tangy salad.
That’s when we say the relationship reached the end of the road, and there are so many phrases related to it. Or the relationships reach that stage when you have been with the person so long – everything is in a limbo, floating in a weightless vacuum. You know everything about that person, every little quirk, every strand of hair on that forearm you caress absent-mindedly.
You may feel bored, because the human mind is foolish. It wants to leave the security of such a lovely bond for something of a parachute jump. The plane is safe, but you want to jump, because the insides feel too familiar.
You don’t know if the parachute is going to open, but people still jump, and when they land on the ground, hurt or unhurt, they see the airplane soaring in the sky with wishful thinking and regret.
Be in the limbo, that weightless vacuum, and brighten the already bright light.
Make them laugh
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Wang
Whang who?
Exactly. Wang hu. From China.
That’s a stupid joke, but if it makes the person smile, it did its job. You have already farted in front of that person, this joke is nothing! Stick ice cream sticks in your ears, deliberately slip and fall comically. Make that person laugh. Even if it is at your expense. There is nothing more satisfying than making anyone laugh.
Making that person laugh is like Beethoven’s symphony to the ears, even if that person laughs like a pig, with distinctive snorts between every laugh.
Make them laugh. Making them cry is very easy. It takes herculean effort to make a person laugh for years. Become the Hercules of humor.
Make them things
Gifting a person is so very easy. Making them something is valuable. A necklace of straws, or a shabbily knitted sweater or a painted pair of shoes. When you make something for them you put a part of yourself into that thing, however insignificant it is. It suddenly becomes more significant and valuable than a platinum ring with diamonds studded in it.
When time passes by you like granules of sand in a sandstorm, the things that you made for that person will endure. Even if the person leaves, even if you throw them away, they will always carry your love, through this ever-moving world.
Honey, I love that ugly looking mole on your face!
“It is ugly as shit, but I love it, I dunno why?!”
They showed that ugly birthmark to you, or confided their innermost insecurities. It is your job to make them confident. For the whole judgmental world, that piece of insecurity is ugly but for you, it is a part of what you love. Make that person realize that. They need to know.
Because when they are at their lowest because of their insecurities they should know that there is this one person in the cruel world who will kiss that insecurity in its face and accept it. Make them confident.
5 years later…
Don’t just live in the moment, look forward. Make them look forward too. Imagine what life you would lead with that person in 5 years. Make them dream. The dreams may or may not come true, but that is insignificant. You have to look forward. You have to be hopeful. And no, you are not seeing the person. You are not dating the person.
You are in love. Be in love. Plan and look ahead. Be seers in love. It brings positivity into the relationship. Do not dread about what is going to happen or when you have to finally propose.
Give that person something to look forward to. Something to dream about when she lays in your arms in the night, sleeping.
Make them moan
Sex is important too. Be receptive. We are so selfish we do not even care if the other person is finished or not. In a world, where we are becoming increasingly open about our attitudes about sex, we lag so behind in making the other person “happy”. How many divorces end with complaints of dissatisfaction in bed and how many hate texts after a breakup, to belittle the carnal moves in the bed?
Care for the other person.
Don’t have sex. Make love.
Do silly shit
Make memories. One day even the exotic holidays will only be plain memories. So many holidays spent everywhere. Yes, you may remember each or them. Maybe you won’t.
But you always remember the silly things you do together. They become the markers of your relationship. They become the stories you tell your children and grandchildren. They become the moments you reminisce when you lay together doing nothing – “Remember, when we stalked that other couple through the mall for an hour and when they noticed we ran like shit the other way?”
Having a relationship that lasts a long time is easy. Building love in a relationship for a long time and never stopping at it is so much work. But it is worth it. When your time is over in this world these monuments will endure. They always do. Long after both of you leave. And if you look around there are so many of them, tall and strong, their residents long gone.
Build your monument of love. Don’t let it rot in the elements of monotony. Build it stronger and keep on building.