Like most of us 90’s kids, I started dating at the age of 14. Yeah, apparently I managed to find pubescent, silly and very pointless boys worth dating. But anyway, I follow the quarter truth method with my mother. It’s simple: you tell her the truth about 30% of your life and white lie through the rest 70%. But she sort of assumes through pop culture and surprises me from time to time.
So, here’s what my mom had to say about dating…
1. What the hell is dating? The only dates you should mark on your calendar are MBA exam dates.
2. What do you mean he’s your boyfriend? I’ll show you the only boyfriend I’ve had. *brings out her wedding pictures*
3. You have more than one date!? What are you, Emraan Hashmi?
4. He asked you out? What do you mean? Like marriage? *Calls panditji to match kundalis*
5. *4 months into the relationship* So, what does he think about kids?
6. Your friends only must have got you into this dating thing. Is Pammi’s daughter dating?
7. How do you find boys on the phone? Is it like Zomato?
8. What if he is a serial killer?
9. Live in relationship? LOL. You live in my house until you have a ring on your finger.
10. But despite all of this, she still tells me after every break-up, ‘He didn’t deserve you anyway’.
So mom, I know you don’t get dating and I get ‘khandaan ki izzat’ and ‘log kya kahenge’, but I know you also get me. Thank you for being my permanent date on every Valentine’s Day!