It’s downright frustrating how society constantly bombards women with this ticking clock narrative, as if our worth solely hinges on reproducing within a ridiculously narrow timeframe. We’re out here hustling, getting degrees, building careers, exploring the world yet somehow, in the midst of all this, we’re expected to squeeze in finding Mr. Right and popping out babies before hitting the big 30.
But what if life doesn’t unfold that way? What if we stumble upon our soulmate after that deadline? Suddenly, the pressure mounts. The reality is, having a child in your 40s can pose risks, and that’s not a decision to take lightly.
A woman on X expressed how it is “cruel” that women have such a short window to have kids. She gave an example of how what happens if a woman marries the wrong person, separates from them, then there’s a global pandemic, and now she is 36 and single.
I think it’s pretty cruel that women have such a short window to have kids. Like what if you marry the wrong person and then a global pandemic happens and you get really sick and now you’re ready to go but you’re 36 and single? Like where is the room for error
— Anna (@annamv10) April 28, 2024
However, several women have already changed this narrative. Many who have had kids in their late 30s and 40s responded to the post and shared their stories – how they’ve had healthy babies at a ‘later’ age. Many also highlighted a woman’s choice to freeze her eggs or to adopt if they want to have kids.
Here’s a look at some of the responses to the post:
To be fair, while the risk numbers increase, exponential increase of a very small number is a very small number. My wife and I had our two kids when she was 38 and 40, and there were no particular issues. We didn’t do anything special either.
— kethic.eth 🔴✨🛡️ (@kethcode) April 29, 2024
If it’s any consolation I met the one at 39. Married at 41 and popped out a baby 11 mths later – one month from my 42 bday. Baby is beautiful and healthy and now an 11 year old young lady, incredible in every way possible.
— JB (@JennBouyoukos) April 29, 2024
Have hope! Take care of yourself! I was married at 21 divorced by 30 and single for almost a decade. Never say never. I was 39 when I had my first and 40 when I had my second.
— Dayla Bradford (@dm6580) April 29, 2024
My mom had me at age 41 back in 1969. It ain’t over, but pick people wisely.
— George Walters (@geo_walters) April 29, 2024
I have women who are having babies in my hospital in their 40s. The risks are higher but it does happen. If you want to make it happen you do and take the risks.
— B1TCHEVAPORATE (@B1TCHEVAPORATE) April 29, 2024
You can successfully marry (if you wish, it isn’t mandatory) and have children after 36. I married at 34 and had children at 35 and 37. My step mother and other close friend had babies at 44 – all healthy.
All of this blather about female fertility being a tiny window is…
— Lydian Pen (@lydianpen) April 29, 2024
Happened to my friend and she had 4 healthy babies after 40 💕
— Ava in Africa (@AvainAfrica) April 29, 2024
But your life is not over when you’re 36, you can still have children if you were healthy and taking care of your body!❤️ https://t.co/QhTLp1kPHy
— Anfal Janahi ✫ (@AnfalJanahi) April 29, 2024
I 100% agree with this sentiment and encourage women to embrace not only adoption but foster care more. We need people in it for the right reasons and emotionally available for the unclaimed or dislocated. https://t.co/OtrFP7OowT
— scribbling (@Melroseabove) April 29, 2024
At 36 i had a baby with my best friend. He’s still my best friend. I’ve seen my married friends go through awful divorces and child custody battles. Being a choice mom rocks I recommend it! https://t.co/5bWpOWy6dt
— 𝙺𝚊𝚒𝚊 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 (@ThisisKaia) April 29, 2024
Ashanti is 43, Nia Long had a baby at 40/41. The acceptable window is longer than we're allowed to think. https://t.co/h2g4kHCR4X
— Hermioneisha Granger (@SerieuseBlack) April 29, 2024
It’s time to ditch the outdated scripts and let women chart their own paths, on their own timelines. Don’t you think?