In many Indian families, mothers often disapprove of their sons opting for love marriages. This disapproval stems from a deep-rooted belief in their authority to choose a partner for their sons. In a society that highly values boys, mothers take immense pride in their sons, often feeling possessive about them. This possessiveness leads them to see their sons as perpetual children, incapable of making their own decisions, especially regarding something as significant as marriage.
Indians on Reddit have been talking about this tendency of Indian mothers taking offence when their sons choose to pursue a love marriage. A user on r/AskIndia asked this question:
Why do Indian moms get so hurt if their child chooses love marriage?
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Several people weighed in on this issue in the comments section. While some shared experiences from their personal lives, others tried to figure out why Indian mothers behave in such a way.
Some explained how sons are often seen as the bearers of the family name and lineage, and their achievements are celebrated as a reflection of the family’s honour. In this context, the idea of relinquishing control over their son’s marital decisions can evoke feelings of insecurity and loss of status for the mother.
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For mothers, the idea of their sons choosing their own life partners can be unsettling. It’s not just about finding a compatible spouse. It’s about upholding family honour and preserving cultural traditions. When a son decides to pursue a love marriage, it can feel like a rejection of these values.
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Even as they grow older, mothers may continue to view their sons through the lens of childhood, believing that they are not mature or capable enough to make such important decisions on their own.
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While these attitudes may be shifting gradually with changing social norms, they continue to exert a powerful influence on familial dynamics in many Indian households.