While growing up, you may have been told several times to be grateful for everything that your parents have done for you, that you owe everything you’ve achieved and your life to them. While this is a widely believed notion, one woman thinks differently.
A woman named Lisa Pontius recently went on a rant about how kids don’t owe their parents anything. The 33-year-old, who is a mother herself, says that it is okay for kids to set their own boundaries, to maintain distance as they are whole individuals in themselves who have different needs.
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She starts by saying that if kids set boundaries with their parents, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love them.
“I got a lot of comments on a video I made about setting boundaries with my mum, from older women, who reiterated the message that you should be grateful for everything your mother’s done for you. Like, somehow setting boundaries with someone somehow means you don’t love or appreciate what they’ve done for you.”
She goes on to add that just like other relationships, a parent-child relationship is reciprocal. She says that everything that an individual does for a kid is called “parenting” – something they signed up for.
“Children don’t owe their parents a certain kind of relationship, and depending on the parent, they might not owe them respect either. Because that sh*t is reciprocal. There is definitely a different dynamic between an adult parent and a child, who is still a child, but once that kid is an adult, that person is a fully formed human being and all that ‘sh*t they did for you’ is parenting, which is what you signed up for.”
Mirror UK quoted her further saying:
“It’s a parent’s job to provide for their children, it’s a responsibility. Not everybody rises to the occasion, but that’s like the bare minimum – taking care of your kids’ physical and financial needs.”
She opines that one should not provide for their kids with the expectation that they will blindly obey you.
“You’re not loving and providing for your children with the expectation that they will blindly obey and do whatever you say as adults. Honestly, if you’re raising your kids well and you’re like an emotionally mature person, you don’t want them to blindly just accept things that are not good for them.”
Lastly, she mentions that kids have their own personalities and struggles. If they tend to be distant, it might be unfortunate but is not abnormal as they are people.
“But, the kicker is, you don’t get to pick your kids, you don’t get to pick who they are, or the struggles they have, or their personalities. Is there a chance that they’re completely not like us and don’t ever wanna talk to us again? I hope not, but it’s possible. They’re people!”
Watch the video here:
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What do you think of this notion? Tell us!