“Resentment and jealousy are like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ” ― Carrie Fisher
Every relationship comes with that lovely undying romance and love phase. But, with time, as relationship starts to mature, different phases start to come up. And the most discussed, unwanted yet common part of a relationship is jealousy and insecurity.
It is impossible to have a perfectly balanced relationship with no jealousy and insecurity. A little jealous behaviour can be cute as it shows that you are possessive about the other person. The damage starts when the feeling starts to take control and your actions start making the other person upset or uncomfortable.
Here are few things you would relate to, if you are the insecure counterpart of your relationship, and how to get over them.
1. What if he/she loses interest in me?
You continuously feel that this attraction and love is short lived and eventually the other person will get bored and lose interest in you. Instead, you should have faith in your relationship and trust the person you chose out of the lot.
2. What if I’m not good enough for him/her?
If you have a feeling that your partner settled for you and he/she can get someone better, then there will always be that undying fear of them leaving you. Please know that your partner chose you because they think you are better suited for them than anyone else.
3. What if he/she start liking someone else?
The fear that someone else will take your partner away from you is nothing but trouble. There is only one solution to this problem – trust!
4. What if he/she is already cheating on me?
If you think your partner is cheating on you without any evidence or proof, it’s time to stop thinking that way. If you have received signs of them cheating, then sit and talk to them about it, rather than thinking about it and harming yourself.
5. What if he/she secretly likes my friend?
If you are a couple in a group and continuously hang out with the same lot of people, then this feeling can erupt. What you have to understand is that everyone has the right to have a social life with friends and be nice to them.
6. What if I’m not the most important person in his/her life?
You don’t need to be. Please understand that you cannot be someone’s whole life, you can only be a part of it; like their parents, friends etc. Don’t push your partner to prioritise and give ranks to people in their life.
7. What will I do if he/she leaves me someday?
What you are doing is, instead of focusing on your present and enjoying it, you are over thinking and panicking about a probable future which is unlikely to happen. Stop thinking that way… right now.
8. What if he/she never truly loved me?
You tend to think that they liked you out of infatuation and never truly loved you and it will all die out one day. The answer is again trust. This kind of negative thinking is not going to help you one bit, and will drain out the love from relationship.
9. What if his friends & family hate me?
End of the day, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is he/she loves you. What other people think about you and your relationship is not your department. Don’t let it ruin what you have with your partner.
10. Why does he/she want to spend so much time away from me?
Because they have a life away from you. Do not make your partner give up their interest and hobbies just to spend time with you. It makes them who they are, and if you keep them away from the life they enjoy, they will slowly start to resent you. Just because your partner wants to spend some time away, doesn’t mean they don’t love you. All you have to do is give them their space.
Feeling insecure is only human. You just have to not let it go out of hand and stop confusing imagination with reality. Hope this was helpful.