5 Ways A Heartbreak Makes You A Better Person

“Hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. It would be better if we died when they did, but we don’t.”

– Stephen King

Even though heartbreaks are painful, have you ever realized that we never speak of them in a malicious way? We never speak of it like we speak about that dirty fight you had with XYZ, or the time your whole luggage was stolen or when you were fired from your job.

We speak of heartbreak as an experience. That’s it. There is no overwhelming feeling of negativity towards it, because every time you recall it, there is this small lump in your throat or that faint and dull ache in your chest.

You can still feel the proverbial scars, and that is what is deeply human about it.

1. It gives you empathy

After the initial surge of anger, what you are left with is the bits and pieces of your heart. Remember, when you were in love, you connected to the happy love songs?

And now all the sad songs make sense all of a sudden. You suddenly understand sadness in a better way. You understand people with sadness in a better way too. A heartbreak expands the limits of your empathy.

It is easy to connect with a happy person. You see a crowd around them at all times. It is very attractive. Sadness makes you empathize with the people on the fringes, who seemingly have no one left to talk to.

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2. It makes you know yourself better

Heartbreaks make you spend time with yourself. It makes you reason with yourself, trying to see logic and the illogic of it all. All that time you spend brooding with a heavy heart, you look deeper inside and you get to know yourself better.

In an age where we are afraid to go to the movies alone, to walk to a place alone, to spend even 5 minutes alone with ourselves, it makes you connect with yourself in a better way. In love, you lose yourself, in heartbreak, you find yourself again.

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3. And in that darkness, you learn to navigate

It feels like you are in the darkest of a long and winding tunnel and the only way ahead is by groping the walls. Everyone knows how to survive in happiness. You just have to live.

Not everyone can deal with a heartbreak. Many people give up. But for those who do not – it is a huge learning experience. Do not give up. It is necessary to navigate these dark tunnels of our sadness and to find the end of that tunnel.

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4. There is a light at the end too

Sadness, in these tunnels, comes in various forms – crying in a fetal position for days on end, to an abrupt wave of depression, to rebounds and infatuation. Live these bouts of sadness because the experience is profound in itself. The experience is what makes us humans. It is a part of the healing process too. After the darkest turn, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

And you will be grateful again. Not even sadness lasts forever.

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5. You become wiser

When you come out of it, you are probably scarred and many of the wounds are still raw and sore. They will heal. You have to give them time. The whole experience teaches you acceptance – acceptance that things do not end up where you want them to.

They also teach you the meaning of true loss. Loss of not just a person you loved, but also pieces of yourself in the process. You will learn to build yourself whole again, and that’s when you make yourself a better person. There will be scars, but you will be better.

And, maybe, if you are open enough, you might find another person along the way to find your missing pieces and help you make yourself whole again.

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