Alright, before I even begin with this, I want you to know that this is not going to be a bashing session. I’m genuinely concerned about you. And to those who just raised an eyebrow at me, hear me out, will you?
Now, why would I be concerned about those known as ‘trolls’ among the Internet population? Because you are clearly hurting. And I am an insufferable empath, so I have this sometimes irritating, sometimes welcome, urge to try to understand people. A little empathy goes a long way I believe.
Shashi Tharoor, in one of his amazing ‘word of the day‘ tweets, introduced us to a particular word that got me thinking. Here’s the tweet:
Every day, I encounter on @Twitter people suffering from lalochezia! All too often they direct their suffering at me & others who support my beliefs…. pic.twitter.com/7h0htfD7Qk
— Shashi Tharoor (@ShashiTharoor) April 9, 2018
Two parts of this tweet caught my attention:
a) “the emotional relief.”
b) “people suffering from.”
Let’s talk about the emotional relief part first. That’s not an expression associated with trolls very often. They are seen as hateful individuals who cannot bear the success or happiness of others. Just spiteful and mean. Nothing more to it, right?
But what if there was? Why would someone who is genuinely happy in their life, take out time to spread negativity in someone else’s day? Wouldn’t they have better things to do? Loved ones to spend time with, hobbies to catch up on or even just simply watch the sky change colours? Anything else for that matter.
Research states that two particular traits are found to be more than average in trolls. Psychopathy and cognitive empathy.
High cognitive empathy simply means that they can understand others’ emotions. This when combined with psychopathic tendencies, makes one know exactly where to hit for it to hurt the other person most.
My question to you, dear individual is, who hurt you first? What happened in your life that made you angry at the world? Are you looking for a momentary relief from a painful reality or maybe one in the past? You have the ability to understand people’s emotions. This is a beautiful trait to have if put to the right use. I understand it’s easier to lash out than try to study and recondition a pain. But is that all you want? A momentary relief?
Coming to the second part of Tharoor’s tweet that caught my attention, it speaks about suffering. An interesting choice of word for the ones hated for doing the hating.
I doubt this is a term you want to be associated with. After all, ‘suffering’ implies that you are weak to some level. And to you, you are anything but weak, right? You probably see yourself as someone who has overcome every trial that life threw at you. And you, in turn, are simply calling out the ones who celebrate each tiny happiness, mourn every loss and show off every triumph, on the internet. Isn’t it?
But have you stopped to think that maybe, you are projecting your struggles onto them? The deepest darkest fears that you deign to acknowledge and would rather keep locked at the back of your mind for all eternity. The ones that just popped into your head now.
Author Eric Hoffer once said:
“Man staggers through life yapped at by his reason, pulled and shoved by his appetites, whispered to by fears, beckoned by hopes. Small wonder that what he craves most is self-forgetting.”
The idea of escaping the grim reality of our daily life is extremely tempting. But you, my dear friend, are trapped in the vicious cycle of spreading and receiving hate. Acknowledge your pains and sufferings. And your good qualities too. Then take a tally of which one of these, when projected onto others, would do you more good in the long run.
So, my dear serial hate-comment posting individual, I leave you with something author James Baldwin said. You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world. But, the things that torment you most are the very things that connected you with all the people who are alive, who had ever been alive.