In today’s challenging economic climate, it is crucial for both individuals in a marriage to actively contribute to the workforce and maintain a reliable source of income. Relying solely on one partner, typically the husband, places an undue financial burden on him, increasing stress levels and limiting the couple’s ability to achieve their desired lifestyle. Dual incomes not only provide financial stability but also empower both partners to share responsibilities.
Which is why, one guy decided to give an ultimatum to his girlfriend about finding a job before getting married. However, the issue at hand is more complicated than this. Taking to Reddit’s r/AskIndia subreddit, the guy revealed that his girlfriend had a decent career and worked for one of the ‘Big 4’ (Delloite, PWC, KPMG and EY) companies with a decent salary. However, she left her job and is unwilling to find a new one.
“She was having a good career. And now she does not do anything. Her father has money, and she is in no mood to find a job. She wants to marry but gave her an ultimatum of finding a job first. I really can’t see myself working alone and feeding family with kids.”
His concern is that if he is the sole earning member of the family, he wouldn’t be able to afford the kind of lifestyle they always dreamed of having. However, whenever he asks his girlfriend to find a job to make things easier for them financially, she tends to get defensive.
“I won’t be able to afford the life that I look forward to. But whenever this topic comes up, she is always like, you don’t love me anymore, you won’t even say this stuff if you would have loved me. This type of conversation comes my way. And I know that the girl genuinely loves me. And I also know that I can’t find such a caring wife. But for me career is important.”
He further explained that in the past year, the girl also lost her mother and he doesn’t want to hurt her further. His girlfriend wanted to come visit him in his state but he asked her not to, considering it would cost her a lot of money. However, now the girl feels as though he doesn’t want to see her.
“I know for a fact that in the future financial constraints will come up or else. Last year she lost her mother as well with whom she was very close to. Now, like I don’t know what to do here. I don’t want to hurt her again. She wants to visit my state, and spend thousands of rupees in the process. I am against that as well as she is not even earning right now. And she feels I don’t even want to see her.”
He asked people online if he was wrong in asking her to get a job. Have a look at his full post here:
After reading his post carefully, people came up with some really good advice.
There were some who asked him to communicate with her properly to understand her needs. Does she want to become a housewife? If so, is he okay with it?
Comment
byu/yama_pandit from discussion
inAskIndia
Others thought that he wasn’t wrong at all. However, the woman just lost her mother. Her giving up the job in the first place can be a reaction to her mother passing.
Comment
byu/yama_pandit from discussion
inAskIndia
A few pointed out that people working in one of the Big 4 companies face immense pressure on a daily basis. They suggested he give her some time to stabilize.
Comment
byu/yama_pandit from discussion
inAskIndia
Some pointed out that he shouldn’t have asked her not to come visit him as it sent the wrong signals. What the girl needs is time to heal from her mother passing and they, as a couple, need to communicate their needs more transparently.
Comment
byu/yama_pandit from discussion
inAskIndia
Comment
byu/yama_pandit from discussion
inAskIndia
Comment
byu/yama_pandit from discussion
inAskIndia
Comment
byu/yama_pandit from discussion
inAskIndia
Comment
byu/yama_pandit from discussion
inAskIndia
Comment
byu/yama_pandit from discussion
inAskIndia
What do you think the guy should do? Share with us!