You think that romantic breakups are tough? Try drifting apart or breaking up with one of your closest friends. Now that’s the kind of void nothing can fill. A lot of people tend to say that if you break up, you can always find another person to love who would love you back. But once you let go of a friend, it is very unlikely that you’ll find another friend as close.
People online have been talking about exactly this in a very depressing thread on X (formerly Twitter) after a user posted about outgrowing friendships but the memories hit you very randomly one fine day. You remember everything about them – how you used to share the day’s tiny details with them, how their hugs used to feel, how they used to annoy you but win you over every single time – everything.
“I don’t think I will ever be completely okay with outgrowing friendships. sometimes it’s so gradual that u don’t even notice at first, but then it’s a random Saturday night in December when you remember exactly how they used to like their tea and how their hugs always felt like home,” she wrote.
i dont think i will ever be completely okay with outgrowing friendships. sometimes its so gradual that u dont even notice at first, but then its a random saturday night in december when you remember exactly how they used to like their tea and how their hugs always felt like home
— zaina (@alIidoishate) December 16, 2023
This seemed to have triggered a lot of people online who shared their experiences of having gone through the same thing. Drifting apart from a friend is very, very painful. Sometimes, you want them back into your life but realise that things will never be able to go back to the same.
Here’s a look at some of the stories that were shared online:
i have a friend who no longer knows me as much as they did before. it’s bittersweet how we share this lingering feeling that we both outgrew the friendship, but our love remains for each other. how heavy it is to confront a longing that came of nowhere and it doesn’t go away. https://t.co/NK31hkOg5g
— isa (@museofgrief) December 17, 2023
from being a person who has never lost a friend & was sticking to the same people she met in nursery & 4th grade to being 18 & losing everyone she has ever labelled as a friend at one go, is insane! like i didn't sign up for this? https://t.co/uvnT4t65N0
— afeem (@mediocrewhore) December 17, 2023
it’s been 4 years and i still think about her. especially on her birthday, the day we parted. the memory of our chats and laughter about everything and anything remains in my heart, as does her dream of becoming a doctor.
it hurts me to know that i’ll never forget her. https://t.co/mNwaM8ZL64
— vahi (@__yirah) December 18, 2023
I realize this is where I’ve landed with my best friend from high school. There’s no bad blood and we still consider ourselves friends, but I know that fundamentally we will never go back to the way things were. https://t.co/jV5ix30Biz
— Ellie (@ArcticEllie) December 18, 2023
there r some friendships I have become so ok with having outgrown but I have cried at the thought of outgrowing any of my current friendships. i love u all so deeply and I live in a constant fear of losing u all. I will die on graduation life has no meaning after that day. https://t.co/7zbGDu5Hc3
— man who doesn't shut up (@bubble_bich) December 16, 2023
And how you shared anything and everything with them and how they still are your first thought when anything major happens but you simply cannot speak to them anymore. https://t.co/5Cbkiy6JHd
— Isha Sharma (@BeyondEllipses) December 17, 2023
me when i think abt that one friendship that got me through covid and how we used to joke we were soulmates and how we understood each other on such a profound level it was like we were the same person. and now we haven't texted in months even though nothing happened bw us https://t.co/3d2yTC4ddy
— azu ✧ (@aurorasevermore) December 16, 2023
One time my best friend told me she was growing out of sleepovers when I asked if she wanted to have one. A few weeks later her first best friend asked to hang out and she went “yes ofc let’s have a sleepover” and something abt that pinched my heart a little
— Lee⋆｡𖦹°‧☆ (@rareangelsteak) December 18, 2023
im sad most days but i dont think i can ever forgive them being friends with my abuser. and definitely crushing on said abuser and confessing it to him. it hurts a lot.
— meeee (@CUTELLE28) December 18, 2023
Very few things will break you in a way that’s gonna leave cracks behind for a very long time. Losing a friend is one of them.