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It is just so happening that I am writing a lot about love these days. And writing about it sure makes you appreciate it more and more. The major issue is that we use the L word very loosely. We forget to fall in love for all the right reasons just like most of the times we end up falling for the wrong guy!
Recognising this right and wrong stuff makes all the difference, really, because imagine marrying someone who you think you love but you only kinda like them for their looks or any other shallow reason. You go on to have kids and then it gets out of hands, you just cannot see each other in the eye and you file for a divorce. This would have been avoided if you loved each other for the RIGHT reasons. Because falling in love for the right reasons is not only ethereal but it is also empowering!
In this beautiful answer on Quora, Roy Martin, a divorce attorney from Bellingham, Washington tells us what are the right reasons you should reconsider while getting married.
It’s taught me that “she’s really hot” is a terrible reason to get married. It’s also taught me that truly loving someone is not, in and of itself, enough. Marriage requires commitment, not only to the marriage but also to the other person’s well-being. Marriage requires devotion. Marriage requires more than a willingness to take on hard stuff but rather a sense of commitment to it.
Ask yourself if you’ll want to be with this woman when she’s old and grey. Ask if you’ll want to support her through months or years of radiation and chemo when she gets breast cancer. Ask if the love you feel for her will leave you wanting to make love to her when she’s invisible to other men. Ask if you’ll want to care for her like a baby when she can no longer care for herself. Ask if you’ll see the opportunity to be there for her until the end as a privilege.
If you can truthfully answer yes to all of those questions, you’re in a great frame of mind to have a successful marriage. If you’re just in it for now and for the good times, that’s not bad and wrong. It’s just not much of a foundation for a 50 or 60-year adventure.
For people who are planning to get married this free advice is handy. Marriage is not an easy relation. On the good days, it works on its own but on the bad ones, you just have to work on it. More importantly, feel like working on it!
The content of this article has been taken from Quora with required permissions from the author.
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