Confessions Of An Agnostic Child Of Religious Parents

agnostic (n.) from Google
A person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God.

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I was born and raised in a pious and religious family. Praying every night before sleeping, every morning after waking up; visiting the temple on a regular basis; observing the religious practices and festivals; all of this was a common sight in my household. My mother used to tell me stories of the Gods and their great works, my grandmother used to explain the importance of religion to me. It was a very immersive experience.

The sheer number of it all scared me.

But as I grew up, I started feeling a little bit restrained, restricted. I was at odds as to why I’m feeling this way, and that I shouldn’t, because, well, religion is good, right? But so many Gods, so many religions, so many practices, so many do’s and don’t’s, it’s some serious work keeping everything in check and living every day without committing a sin.

There is very little or no logic in religious beliefs.

Blind faith is rampant in India. No shaving or getting a haircut on Saturday because x God will be offended. Menstruating women can’t enter a temple because they’re unclean. Don’t eat underground vegetables for eight days because you’re atoning for your sins. All of this doesn’t make sense if you stop and think about it practically. Logically, religion fails.

My mother was very open about it all and that calmed me.

My mother was always a proponent of inner belief and spirituality. She saw my reasoning and understood my doubts. Gaining strength from her, I started drawing out from religion and stopped following it so much. I was on my way to agnosticism. Different religions preached different things, different Gods taught often opposite and confusing ideas, and I wanted to be away from the jumble.

The universe is the ultimate power and religion is for man.

I once read a famous philosopher’s quote that “God made man and man made religion.” I couldn’t have agreed more to that. Man made religion to keep himself in check. But it soon turned on him. Strong sentiments and blind faith led man to do things he designed religion to stop him from doing in the first place. I don’t need to stress on all the events that have happened in our country as well as the world which stemmed with religion at the crux.

Becoming agnostic and finding the one true God.

I came to a conclusion that what you believe is what will happen to you. Karma is real and that is the only absolute truth in the world. Movies like Oh My God and PK only strengthened my resolve. There is only one true superior power in the universe, and it keeps everything in check and in balance. It’s the brilliant, and at the same time, vicious circle of life.

Khaled Hosseini wrote in his brilliant debut novel, The Kite Runner, the following words:

“No matter what the leaders teach, there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft. When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal his wife’s right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness. There is no act more wretched than stealing, Amir. A man who takes what’s not his to take, be it a life or a naan… I spit on such a man. If there’s a God out there, then I would hope he has more important things to attend to than my drinking scotch or eating pork.”

I am agnostic. But I still pray at night, because sending out positive vibrations in this universe will only add to the collective good Karma.
I don’t believe in Gods and religions. But I am not willing to staunchly defy its existence because I am not against people who have religious beliefs. Belief is a virtue of the strong and I respect them for their faiths.

I rest my case.

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