Bengali Bride Challenges Bidai Tradition, Says “You Can Never Repay Parents’ Debts”

I feel like I’ve attended a million weddings these past few months. Both physically and digitally. There were nuptials of friends, cousins and celebrities. But between the music, dance and masti, I never really paid close attention to the traditions being followed. The age-old customs that form the foundation of a desi shaadi. What do they mean? Why do we follow them? Are they still relevant?

Here’s a Bengali bride who isn’t too pleased with the rituals of her ‘bidai’. And her brutally honest take on it has resulted in over 3 million views.

Out with the old, in with the new

The significance of ‘rice throwing’

Traditionally, this gesture is said to hold many meanings. It is an acknowledgement of the love received by the bride in her childhood home, an auspicious blessing she bestows on it while leaving and lastly, a symbol of repayment of debt.

In the video, a relative can be heard asking the newlywed to throw a handful of rice behind while saying that in doing so, she has repaid the debts of her parents. The bride then declares,

“You can never repay your parents’ debts”

Even as she walks on with her husband towards her new home, there aren’t any tears in her eyes. She bids a cheerful farewell to her family saying, “I’ll be back.” Her spin on the ritual is initially met with surprise but eventually, everyone sees that it is the honest truth. They accept her updated version and see her off.

More power to her, I say. And a happy married life ahead!