22 Things That Happen To You During The Hot Indian Summer

The most dreaded time of the year is here, and the Sun has launched its unforgiving torture. It’s almost as if the sun can smell our fear. Here are 22 things that we go through every summer.

1. Sweat finds places on your person you didn’t know you had

Perspiration: 100, Dignity: 0

 

2. More sweating = more crotch-rubbing creeps

What is going on there, man?

 

3. After a long time in the sun, your body automatically starts craving air conditioning

Somebody please buy me an AC. Please.

 

4. When wearing tight pants, there is this niggling feeling that your ass may be on fire

Psst…it most probably is.

 

5. You don’t even bother styling your hair before stepping out

By the time the sun’s done with you, you’re going to end up looking like the neighborhood daayan anyway.

 

6. You have to deal with having an upper lip sweat-stache ALL THE TIME.

Oh, are those pearls? Nope, just beads of sweat.

 

7. You can’t wear white without risking looking like Mandakini from Ram Teri Ganga Maili

Only in this case, you bathe in sweat instead of a waterfall.

 

8. You go through nearly 10 deodorant bottles in one month

Spppritz. There goes another one.

 

9. Ice cold water = Amrit

That’s right.

 

10. Spicy food coupled with heat will do everything to your body, short of killing you..

..but you will still eat them anyway.

 

11. Holding your breath in a crowded place with smelly, sweaty people around is a basic life skill by now

 

12. You literally break down when your mom asks you to visit the grocer at 12 in the noon

Why you do this to me, mom?

 

13. Living in a city with humid weather means preparing yourself for a visit from bloodsuckers of the most deadly kind

 

14. And they will bring their other flying friends with them too

 

15. And some others, who just got out of hibernation

..and are ready to party the summer away in your bathroom.

 

16. Heat boils, heat strokes and nosebleeds, oh yeah!

Chubhti jalti ghamoriyan.

 

17. When your cousins abroad talk about going to the beach to get a tan, and how beautiful summer is over there, you’re like

Talk about jale pe namak.

 

18. When that friend whose house is centrally air conditioned complains about the heat

 

19. If only we had the anatomical ability to do this

..we’d be a less sweaty lot.

 

20. But in the end, no matter what summer throws at you, we are a resilient lot & have tools that make it all worthwhile

Like this.

 

21. Plus this…

 

22. And this

For this reason alone, you wish summer would never end.