Kids are the most innocent people. They would say the sweetest things, sometimes the meanest things but get away with all of it due to all the cuteness! Sure, they are a pain in the ass sometimes, but there is no one else who will give you such pure joy and peace. Their wise, innocent talk, wipes away all your tiredness and you just want to keep listening to them!
We have some hilarious tweets about children and they are sure to tickle your funnybone!
1. The kid breaks free, finally!
I just asked my 8yo to quit yelling and he said, “I’m NOT yelling. This is my voice and all my life I’ve been whispering. Now I’m free!”
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) December 21, 2013
2. When you say yes, blindly!
3yo (in bathroom): Mummy, can I put this sticker on Daddy’s card?
Me (in bed): Yes.
3yo: Will he love it?
Me: Yes. pic.twitter.com/TJepUORQwH
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) June 21, 2015
3. Deny me food, and I will stare you to death!
This kid asked me for some skittles but I had just finished them so he stared at me like this the entire flight pic.twitter.com/Doavgl6ZX1
— Shia LaWeak (@CallMeHuss) September 3, 2015
4. Subtly telling his dad that his time is up!
— Brian Sack (@brian_sack) October 5, 2015
5. How cute does pink dog nails look?
When your child and your dog disappear upstairs for an hour, you should totally be suspicious. pic.twitter.com/HqvuVTYVXg
— Kate (@KateOfHysteria) June 20, 2016
6. Elsa be the best, ALWAYS!
Me: What happened on the coffee table?
5-year-old daughter: Elsa killed all the stormtroopers. pic.twitter.com/36hCfd1z5s
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 25, 2015
7. Will keep you guessing!
6: Daddy, I’m mad at you.
Me: What for?
6: I’m not telling you.
She’s already a woman.
— Ridge Cromwell (@rcromwell4) March 3, 2016
8. Awwww. How innocent is that!
Ben thinks this is him and won’t let go of the diapers 🙄 pic.twitter.com/y6Pg8acrdU
— Rose ✨ (@SleeplesssInKy) June 24, 2016
9. Well, kids are scary sometimes
She’s been talking into the vent for a while
At first I thought it was cute
Now I’m afraid someone is talking back pic.twitter.com/uhibpE7tL8
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 11, 2016
10. Such a clever child, venting his anger in a non-violent way!
My son got mad at me yesterday and opened all the bananas in the house. What type of passive aggressive monster… pic.twitter.com/4p2Ucqh9NF
— Victor Pope Jr (@VictorPopeJr) March 9, 2016
11. The mean girl
4: Mommy, you’re just like a Disney movie. We should play pretend.
Me: Aww! Sure!
4:You can be the Beast.
4: Or the fat sea witch!
— Marlebean (@Marlebean) April 17, 2014
12. Funny little devil
5: daddy can I tell you a secret?
Me: sure thing buddy
5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn’t wash my hands
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) June 9, 2015
13. Such confidence
No DNA test needed.
I’m sure she’s mine. pic.twitter.com/C1FntjdRUE
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 13, 2015
14. Finally, a smart next generation
4-year-old: I’m never going to get married.
Me: What will you do instead?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 18, 2016
15. What they see is what they do!
My 4-year-old gets her parenting skills from me. pic.twitter.com/s0OScvcCJo
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 30, 2016
16. In too much hurry to grow up!
My 2yo said she is a grown up. I told her she isn’t, that she is a toddler. She replied, “No, I’m a grown up. I’m going to touch knives.”
— Jess (@jessokfine) June 29, 2015
17. These are the curious ones
7yr old: Wait! Do animals make babies the same way people do??
7yr old, mutters: Oh my god.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 28, 2015
18. Praying to Santa to ease pooping, what a prayer!
My 5yo just prayed to Santa to help her poop come out painlessly, and I’m wondering where else my parenting might have screwed her up.
— One Classy Motha (@MothaKim) June 22, 2014
19. Because this little guy doesn’t share food and he has made it quite clear
When you’re not hungry for the whole pizza, but you still don’t want to share.
-4yo life hack pic.twitter.com/5LmGoYSs94
— Lurk ‘N Stalk (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 17, 2015
20. An ode on french fries!
My son the poet pic.twitter.com/PsroWI61Po
— ceeks (@70Ceeks) March 19, 2015
I am sure their parents are having one hell of a time raising them!
H/T: Bored Panda