14 Small Things Without Which A Bengali Wedding Is Just Incomplete

Being one myself, one of the best things to come my way are Bengali weddings. And I’m talking about the authentic ones, not the different-cultures-infused-into-one kind, complete with all the traditions and rituals. Oh, and just so you know, I am not talking religion here.

The very essence of what is Bengali is at the heart of these weddings. You get to see your never-met-before relatives, taste some mouth watering Bengali dishes and experience Bangla culture at its best, things that are worth experiencing at least once in a life time!

So if you have ever experienced one such wedding, you have probably witnessed these 14 things no Bengali wedding is complete without! And if you haven’t, you NEED to!

1. Aiburo bhaat

The wedding ball starts rolling with this, quite literally. ‘Aiburo’ is the Bengali term for bachelor, so basically the ‘would be’ bride and groom are invited to their relatives and loved ones’ houses for one last meal as a bachelor. Honestly, the only thing that remotely motivates me to think about getting married someday is the thought of these lavish meals I would get to eat, thanks to this tradition!

 

2. Tottwo

Tottwo in Bengali means gift. During a wedding both the groom’s and the bride’s family give out gifts to the would be spouse’s relatives. And as this has nothing to do with dowry, people gift whatever they can, from dresses to fruits to ‘sondesh’ *stomach is grumbling at the thought* to Fish! Decorating ‘tottwo’ also helps relatives bring out their best creative selves.

 

3. Uludhoni (ululation)

From Durga Puja to weddings, if there’s no ululation, then it’s not being properly celebrated yet. Plus, you get to see your mom, aunts, and all other women get super competitive about it!

 

4. Machher Muro (fish head curry/preparation)

It ain’t a Bengali celebration if there ain’t any fish! From ‘aiburo bhaat’ to ‘bou bhaat’ (the reception at the groom’s place) this particular preparation is omnipresent!

 

5. Evil thakuma/didima/jethima/kakima/mamima (aunts and grandmas)

You must have come across these aunts and grandmas telling you that you’re next! They have a degree in both gossiping and making people feel embarrassed. They continuously give the bride and groom not-so-subtle hints about the happenings during ‘fulsojja’ and honeymoon, making them and everyone else around them blush! Oh, and if you are a groom, you’ll most definitely get accused by a granny of ditching her and settling for her granddaughter instead!

 

6. The over enthusiastic cousins

From sneaking in bites to eat (since the bride and groom are supposed to fast on the wedding day) to doing some matchmaking of people and their own, these over enthusiastic cousins (and nephews and nieces) are quite the life of the celebration!

 

7. Harmonium

Often, you’d find one old harmonium brought out of the attic or some other place, and someone would start singing in a not-so-melodious tone. From torturing guests to torturing the groom and bride (by asking them to sing a song), harmoniums are integral to Bengali lives!

 

8. Chandan sojja

Step aside high end make up, ’cause nothing makes a person more beautiful than adorning the faces with our traditional designs done with sandal wood paste. Nothing, absolutely nothing can compete with chandan sojja!

 

9. Rojonigondha ful

I think you’ll agree when I say that Bengalis have a thing for tube roses. From weddings to anniversaries, ‘rajanigandha’ is essential for any and every occasion!

 

10. Sanai

Nothing sets the mood of wedding like the tune of Sanai (shehnai). The tune of sanai aptly captures the many different kinds of emotions that are at play during a wedding, from the sadness of parting with your family to the excitement of joining a new one!

 

11. Paan pata

Paan is an essential part of Bengali life, so naturally it has a place of its own during weddings also. From guarding the beautiful eyes of the bride till “shubho drishti” to giving guilty pleasures in the form of ‘mithe paan’ or ‘banarasi paan’, paan just has to be there during a Bengali wedding.

 

12. Aalta

Long before mehendi took over, this red cosmetic has been helping Bengali women enhance the beauty of their feet. From colouring the feet to the completion of ‘dudhe-alta’ ceremony (the bride, after reaching the groom’s house, takes her first walk on a white piece of cloth after stepping into a mixture of milk and alta – this signifies her role as the Laxmi of the house) after the wedding, alta is just inevitable for a wedding.

 

13. Mishti

Whatever may the occasion be, a Bengali celebration cannot function without the many varieties of sweets Bengal boasts of. From having rosogolla after a meal to having payesh or sondesh stealthily, Bengali wedding = mishti!

 

14. Happiness

Be it a Bengali wedding or any other, even with all the crazy drama, the one thing that keeps it all together is the sheer happiness. You simply cannot be unhappy with everything that goes around during a wedding!

*Desperately hopes her cousin gets married this year finally*

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