We as kids are told what career can have us grow by leaps and bounds and provide us life long stability. Even if that means working the brain out until 3 in the morning for jobs that give money, and that’s all about it. And the money earned whilst doing something you hate each day goes out as fees for multiple sessions with psychologists. Now for the many students out there busting their butts, unwillingly, to crack entrance exams for IIT (and other big shot engineering institutes out there), you might want to read what this person was contemplating and the perfect answer to their contemplation.
A college dropper, and as someone who could not get through JEE Advanced, took to Quora to find a reason to “live”. The anonymous person asked
[2015’s IIT JEE cut offs were 105, whereas 2014’s cut offs were 152. We’re assuming that this question was asked a year back.]
The perfect reply came from Arpit Kubadia, which says how there are more important things worth living for than an exam. Here’s the complete answer:
I’ll tell you a story
You come home after getting your results . It was really horrible (or you think so) . You’re just ready to give up.
So you go to your room, close the door, and write down a suicide note
You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time.
You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time.
A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you that the dinner is ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep.
He tells this to your mom.
Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it.
Sobbing, she tries to wake you up.
She’s screaming your name.
Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mummy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.”
Your dad runs to your room.
He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry.
Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying, weeping with tears.
The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent.
Everyone blames themselves.
Your teachers think they were too hard on you.
Those mean popular girls, they think of all the rubbish things they’ve said to you.
That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are.
Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you… He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and goes out of the school.
Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late.
And your best friend? She’s in shock.
She can’t believe it.
She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad.
Bad enough for you to end it.
She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor.
Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out.
It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came.
Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality.
The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on.
Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot.
Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young.
Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot.
You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him.
Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days.
It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counsellor therapist at least once a week.
Your teachers all quit their job.
Those mean girls have eating disorders now.
That boy that used to tease you cuts himself.
Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love any more and just sleeps around with girls.
Your friends all go into depression.
Your best friend? She tried to kill herself.
She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried.
Your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death.
He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide.
Your parents? Their marriage fell apart.
Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death.
Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day.
You may not think so, but they do.
Some of your choices don’t just affect you.
They affect everyone.
Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for.
Now talking about your father; don’t you think he will prefer a non-IITian child over a dead child?
You will get another chance
He can still come back from this
But there’s no coming back from death
And more importantly
No doubt that his parents will be mad at him for low marks
But if he does this.. It will break them.
If he’s willing to deal with this problem.. Not for anyone.. But his parents..
Be honest with him
Life won’t be a breeze now
People will look down at him
And his parents will also be mad in the beginning
But If he succeeds the next time… In anything not necessarily this..
Then all WILL be forgotten.”
So why do this to yourself when you can write, swim, dance, sing, paint, orate, run business with out of the box ideas, fall in love, find a friend you can pour your heart out and talk until dawn, live in your dream home, fly to Athens or take a hike in Rishikesh (or where ever you have always longed to), work up the adrenaline and go bungee jumping, and all that keeps your heart saying let’s live more. Why reach a stage where you are sitting in an office consumed by drapetomania (strong urge to run away) when you can make a career choice that satisfies your soul, gives you opportunities to excel, and have you rise in what you love to do.