The Latest

10 Women Reveal How They Fearfully Changed Their Habits Because Men Assume Them As A ‘SIGN’

byLavanya Shrivastava
16th June 2017
4 minute read

Courtesy of Bollywood’s epic romance sequences or prelude of a love story, stating that stalking is a form of romance, has led to a lot of people believing that’s how it’s done. Hasi toh phasi, is simply NOT how you know she is interested in you.

Language of romance is different and it starts with chivalry, respectable distance and it starts with both of you. But apparently, that’s not how it works today. Her smile, her friendly hugs, her compliments are considered as signs that she is 100% ‘leading men on’.

Many women in this Reddit thread opened up about how they had to change their innocent habits, in fear of men thinking, that they were leading them on. And there is so much truth in all of this that it will make you realise how, women, today live an uncomfortable life, after they step out of their houses.

1. Being polite can be the biggest crime, a girl can commit.

Image Source
I used to be polite, then started to be rude. Sometimes even that isn’t enough. “Don’t touch me, don’t say that.” And then to have it ignored, it’s infuriating and belittling.

 

2. Compliments are a big NO-NO!

Asking a question or giving them a compliment.
—————————————
But the worst thing is when I’ve walked back to my car alone and in the dark. I’d been out that day and was wearing cute and kind of revealing clothes. A guy followed me from the train station to where I’d parked (about 10 minutes), and when I got in my car he started to yell at me for leading him on. We hadn’t spoken, but we’d made eye contact a couple of times on the hour long train ride, which seemed to be enough for him.
I didn’t think that the phrase “leading someone along” was so literal, but okay.

 

3. Be careful every damn time, because anything you do is a sign.

Image Source
If I have to pick something off the ground I bend my legs and squat down to do it so it doesn’t look like I’m showing off my ass, even though it’d be a lot easier to just bend down.

 

4. Something we all do.

Not accepting any favor from a man. No rides. No coffees. Avoid avoid. It sucks.

 

5. Happiness? Yeah, that’s unacceptable too!

Image Source
I used to always greet everyone with a smile and happy eyes. Either a nod or a quick ‘hello’. But I got hit on way too often while doing that, to the point where they kept following me. I’m just trying to be polite dammit. 

 

6. Dump that smile too. You don’t want to lead them on…

I’m a naturally smiley person and smile when I talk to people and just to be friendly, but I have to be careful about it if I notice a guy taking it the wrong way.
I had one coworker who took it way, way too far and I ended up having to show him a picture of my ex boyfriend and I together and buy a cheap ring to wear to get him to back off. All because I smiled when I talked.

 

7. Yes, how can we forget social media?

Image Source
I’m thinking more in terms of social media, but I’ve found if a guy messages me and I send back so much as a polite ‘hello’ that guy will never leave me alone. Every couple months he’ll pop up trying to start a conversation, usually being rude or lewd, long after I’ve stopped messaging him.

 

8. Being a naturally warm person is the biggest sign of them all.

“Like general affection, even with hugs and compliments I’m pretty reserved unless our relationship is clearly drawn out and we both know that nothing is being implied.”

 

9. Sums it up alright.

Image Source
Honestly, even making conversation, being kind and genuinely interested in what they have to say can be misunderstood as flirting because so few women do it… For fear that they will look like they’re flirting.
I don’t want to resign myself to ostracising half the human population, so I’m just going to keep being kind and friendly to guys and hopefully it will catch on.
The only inconvenience​ is that sometimes you have to clarify your intentions, if a guy does (understandably​) misinterpret the situation but that gets easy to do after the first couple of times.

 

10. Take that advice, girl.

When I was 13, my dad warned me against talking one-on-one with guys. He said that exclusivity could be interpreted as flirting. So yeah, that I guess.

 

And hear me, I am not a believer of the phrase ‘all men’. I firmly believe that there are men who are extremely sensitive and make sure that women around them feel safe and comfortable. But then, how has every girl you and I know, faced such plight of being stalked? How has she been made uncomfortable in a public place by glaring eyes? Why are her message requests piling up with dick picks on social media?

There is something definitely wrong.

So, what should a girl do now? Stop existing? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Source: Reddit

Cover Image Source

📣 Storypick is now on Telegram! Click here to join our channel (@storypick) and never miss another great story.