In India, like in many other South Asian countries, social convention dictates that a woman must get married by her early twenties and must have a child by her mid-twenties. The minute a woman surpasses the age of 25, neighbourhood aunties and relatives start questioning why she isn’t getting married. They cannot comprehend the idea of an unmarried, financially and emotionally independent woman. Hence, unmarried women tend to face a lot of judgement from society, in general.
A woman named Sameen asked women on Twitter if, like her, they too are met with suspicion and judgement for not getting married. She is 27 years old and says that many aunties and uncles view her with suspicion. Here’s a look at her tweets:
Now that I'm 27, unmarried, largely doing whatever I want, a lot of the uncle aunties who saw me grow up look at me with suspicion (?) can someone else relate to this
— Sameen (@someaningfull) July 26, 2023
It’s like they don’t know what to do with me because can’t infantilize as I won’t let them but also can’t respect me as an adult because I don’t have a husband
— Sameen (@someaningfull) July 26, 2023
Innumerable women and men in their 20s, 30s and even 40s who are unmarried shared how they undergo similar treatment by society at large. From ridiculous comments passed by relatives to a lot of societal pressure, here’s what these people went through:
30 and yes. Sometimes there’s pity or indifference too. There’s so many looks it’s sometimes hard to decipher them lol
— Hiba (@HibaBeg) July 26, 2023
My sister married at 29 and mostly in every family gathering some aunties used to say, shadi kerne ka erada hai yeh aisi hi rahogi, initially she was getting sad but later she used to reply, lagta hai apne koi bari cheez gift Kerni hai apne jaidad mei sa mjhe mere shadi per 😆
— jack (@silent_anas) July 26, 2023
44. They forever be side eyeing.
— Taz (@TazzyStar) July 27, 2023
Oh, girl, you are speaking my language! 🙌😂
Am I 27? Yup!
Unmarried? Absolutely!
Doing whatever I want? Oh, hell yeah! 💃🎉
And guess what? I get those suspicious looks from the uncle aunties too! 😆 It’s like they’ve discovered a rare species roaming free in the wild! 🐒…— Stella John (@i_StellaJohn) July 27, 2023
At 37, I am judged more and relate 2x more than you.
Society can’t fathom the existence of a single man/woman enjoying life while being happy and successful.
— Saurav Srivastava (@gx_saurav) July 27, 2023
28 here, some try to sympathise or show pity, some “friends” try to be patronizing about it, overall there’s general misunderstanding and confusion that a person could be very much doing great under these conditions 😆
— hibz don’t lie (@Yetanothermind2) July 26, 2023
Say if u were married, then they would say, bachay nahee hay, and if bachay, Oho beta nahe hay. If Beta, then kon say school jata hay. If school, then oho uss school may nahee hoa. And then it goes on to University, job and his/ her marriage. Point is that they will never stop.
— Zia Syed (@ZiaSyed_usa) July 26, 2023
i’m 26 unmarried and not dating anyone, some aunties have asked if i’m lesbian or what
— 火野 レイ🌟🍨 (@eskyimtobeli) July 27, 2023
Absolutely relatable! 🙋🏻♀️Many of us experience this kind of scrutiny from extended family as we grow older and make life choices outside the traditional norms. Remember, it’s your life, and you have the right to follow your own path💪🏼✨
— Rozina (@R0zinakhan) July 26, 2023
When I was 27 and unmarried everyone had only one topic majority of times that “ab aapki shaadi ho jani chaheye, umer bharrti ja rahi hai. Jab umer bharrh jaey toh phir achay rishtay bhi nahi miltay” 🤦🏻♀️
Aunties & their chull to poke in everyone’s life is forever kinda thing!! 💩— Tahneat Tariq (@t_tahneat) July 26, 2023
Can relate to that completely! In fact, they don’t know what to do with single divorced women too because they don’t have a husband. Without a husband, they can’t seem to relate to women at all!
— Zarin (@ZarinKhanz) July 27, 2023
Oh my god!! My sister (unmarried) has been decorating her room, living her best life without a husband and relatives can’t make sense of what’s going on here.
— Javeria. (@Jisnotlucy) July 26, 2023
The idea that a person’s life is truly ‘fulfilled’ if they are married and something is definitely ‘wrong’ with them if they aren’t is downright ridiculous. Don’t you think?