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Doctors Rule That Period Cramps Are As Painful As Heart Attacks. Women Say “We Told You So!”

byJinal Bhatt
1st March 2018
3 minute read

Chums. The Crimson Wave. Aunt Flow. That Time Of The Month. Crime Scene In My Pants. Periods.

These are the many ‘euphemisms’ that women use to talk about periods. You know what a euphemism is, right? “A mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.”

Even the dictionary agrees that periods are unpleasant and embarrassing!

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And don’t even get me started on the period pain, which feels akin to being stabbed in your tummy by a thousand hot iron knives. Swollen feet, rashes, acne, irritable mood swings, back aches, cramps, cravings, nausea, fatigue, lethargy, dizziness…. It’s like your uterus is punishing you for not being pregnant.

But isn’t it amazing that despite the inexhaustive list of discomforts above, some people just manage to reduce period cramps to “You’re exaggerating. Just pop a pill and get over it.”

And now, here’s the biggest “F**k You” to all of those people who thought a woman was ‘over-reacting’ about her period pain feeling like death warmed up. Apparently, medical science says menstrual cramps are as painful as heart attacks!

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A professor of reproductive health at University College London, John Guillebaud (bless you, John), revealed to Quartz, that his patients have described the cramping period pain, or Dysmenorrhea as “almost as bad as having a heart attack.”

Unlike his GoT namesake, this John sure knows something!

Now, of course, you’d think women the world over must’ve breathed a sigh of relief for being finally understood. Sure, they did. And then they tweeted a huge-ass “We told you so” because that’s exactly what we have been screaming from the rooftops for, like, forever!

Aye Bunty, tera sabun slow hai kya?

Because it took science, several heart attacks and a man (how apt) to convince the skeptics. Because, really, why would you believe us women over, say, sanitary pad ads where the girl is jumping over obstacles like nobody’s business?

1. You weren’t, girl!

2. When will a women’s word be enough?

3. Dear society, aren’t you proud?

https://twitter.com/susan__ev/status/968648559548444672

4. It takes a man… *facepalm*

5. Yep, that bad.

6. Can you even imagine that amount of pain?

7. Exactly!

8. Whoaa, that’s extreme!

9. It’s different for different women!

10. We told you so.

Ah! Enlightenment, finally.

So wait, what does this sudden meteor of information mean? Don’t worry, world. We don’t need your pity. Neither are we asking you to turn this into a big deal to appease us. Don’t worry, we won’t even rant on about being entitled to those period leaves at work.

What the women in your life really need from you, dear men and fellow women too, is to just believe them when they say “It hurts like a bitch!”.

Because it fucking does.

PS: We’re going to be smug as hell about this for a while now. Deal with it!

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