Bollywood has shown us that it takes a lot of sacrifices for a North Indian to marry a South Indian. The long struggle to convince parents, the stupidly smiling at random things, and promising to not force their cultures on the other partner are some unsaid rules to a happy intercultural marriage, according to the movies.
But, does Bollywood factually portrays what actually is a North Indian-South Indian intercultural wedding?
I’m not convinced that it does and so are these people. Hence, people who’ve been or know people in a similar situation like the culturally opposite couple, Krish Malhotra and Ananya Swaminathan in the Bollywood movie ‘2 States’, took to Quora and shared this:
1. Having an open mind helps.
“Two of my Chennai friends have married Punjabi girls and the marriages have worked out. One of the guys was pitch black and both girls were Sikhs and extremely fair. I don’t know any Tamil guy marrying UP girl, but some Punjabi girls are more broadminded and like educated Tamil guys.”- Manny Subramanian
2. The food war.
“My mother is from Punjab and my father is from Andhra Pradesh. They have been married for about 25 years now. The only divide I have seen is whether my grandmother’s dosas and vadas taste better or my mother’s shahi paneer.”- Karanveer Mohan
3. Chaos in the making.
“I think there will be a little chaos if such a relationship occurs. Punjabi family will be chilled, they don’t care about the community of the girl, they only judge the girl by her character. If she is humble and polite, they will never say no. But South Indian family may say no.”- Hitesh Kumar
4. The cultural differences.
“I am an Iyer (a Tamil Brahmin) and my sister recently got married to a punjabi. The starking differences being the marriage customs itself. A pallu on the head means tradition for them
But on the other side pallu on the head symbolizes widows. Which fortunately was taken quite humorously by both sides. The oldies on their side was stunned to see that my sister was ‘fairer’ unlike Madrasis. Which was also gulped down with a pill of humour. But at the end of the day we indeed have a happy love struck couple stepping on to start a new life , blessed by equally happy parents.” (sic)- Anonymous
5. It’s the chemistry that matters.
“My sister got married earlier this year. My family is from Delhi, and the groom’s family is from Tamil Nadu. They met in college, and the fact that they were from opposite ends of the country was never a hindrance. That is not to say that cultural differences do not exist between North and South Indians; they do, but the functioning of their relationship is irrelevant of the states they belong to. It’s all about the chemistry, and that is the way it should be.”- Saarthak Jajoria
6. The wait is stressful.
“I’m a south indian and he’s a north indian. I had my 1st job, we met through common friends and he popped the question! It’s been 8 years and I’m still waiting to get married and he’s delaying since his elder brother isn’t married and my parents are asking me to move on considering my age. I’m waiting for him and he’s waiting for his elder brother to get married. I hope things get sorted soon.” (sic)- Nandhini Nagaraj
7. Prepare for the worse.
“One of my friend (south indian Brahmin) got married to a north indian Brahmin girl (love marriage). It’s been just 3 yrs. Their divorce case is in court. He told us his wife treat him and his family members as slave…Tho’ he and his family is financially sound and rich. Moreover He is a central govt employee. It’s horrible.”- Prabu Maria Pragasam I
8. Intercultural marriages come with some minor hassles.
“Things have changed a lot. I personally know two of my friends – one from Gujrat and other from Karnataka – who recently got married. I think you can expect some minor hassles with different customs, languages etc. Other than that, you should not have any problems.” –
Nischal Subbarao
9. At the end, it’s love that matters.
“I’m a Tam dating a North Indian. I have met his family,we are planning to get married soon.I adore him as he tries speaking Tamil to interact better with my family, he gets excited about the south Indian dishes I cook, watches Tamil movies with me, listens to Tamil music,appreciates it and all this without me asking for any.
I love the fact that we as cultures have many similarities and contradictions,on which we have hour-long healthy discussions, in a pursuit to understand these better. This has definitely made us nonjudgmental,more accepting individuals,and also unlearn the stereotypes.
Our relationship is strong and beautiful as we understand our differences and appreciate them. Fortunately we never had adjust-mental issues. We don’t force anything on each other, instead we both are open to experiments.
We both believe,to be in a relationship you just need two individuals determined to be together regardless of whatever happens,accepting and appreciating their differences with immense love and trust. P.s- Yet I enjoy that he never understands my Tamil swearwords! (neither am I gonna teach him ever)”-Meera S
10. Love conquers all.
“It is love that matters…not the community to which they belong.And yes it would be interesting if a north Indian guy marries a south Indian girl.They can have plethora of memories from both sides…which is all our life is about.”- Akhil
We know it can be tough, but the bottomline is, you decided on this person forever because love knows no bounds.