J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter books and its future film adaptations have had a huge impact on pop culture. And for good reason. Because it’s one of those rare book and film series that balances intricate character study, massive world-building and mind-blowing action very seamlessly.
However, Rowling’s return, after the end of the original series, hasn’t been as interesting. While the first ‘Fantastic Beasts’ movie was warmly received, ‘Crimes of Grindelwald’ has been woefully panned (read my review here). But it turns out that the worst offender is the “digital heart” of the Wizarding World, Pottermore.
For those of you who don’t know what Pottermore is, it’s a website that J.K. Rowling uses to keep the world of Harry Potter alive and expanding through news, articles and various other activities. But her latest attempt has been met with criticism and guffaws.
Hogwarts didn't always have bathrooms. Before adopting Muggle plumbing methods in the eighteenth century, witches and wizards simply relieved themselves wherever they stood, and vanished the evidence. #NationalTriviaDay
— Wizarding World (@wizardingworld) January 4, 2019
Well, thank Merlin that they adopted Muggle plumbing methods, or we would’ve to watch an entire franchise where people went still for a moment to poop/piss on themselves and then use an incantation to vanish it.
Considering how this information dump came out of nowhere, Potter fans were quite shocked. Here are some of the reactions:
I'm sorry I ever bad-mouthed Rowling's incessant lore-rewriting. "All wizards used to shit themselves" is insanely good https://t.co/upNCybNhSH
— Siddhant Adlakha (@SiddhantAdlakha) January 4, 2019
Guess that’s why they call them WIZards ha ha get it because WIZ is sometimes code for PEE
But seriously what the fuck is this https://t.co/45vcGmMYuG
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) January 4, 2019
J.K. Rowling's just treating the entire internet as her own personal mass psychological experiment at this point. https://t.co/Fh1lHL7lPP
— Alisha Grauso (@AlishaGrauso) January 4, 2019
THIS. THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T USE SIDE CHANNELS TO FLESH OUT NARRATIVE WORLD-BUILDING AFTER A WORK HAS BEEN PUBLISHED.
THIS RIGHT HERE. https://t.co/9uyM2YLXM7
— Kathryn VanArendonk (@kvanaren) January 4, 2019
JK Rowling: well I really can't discuss Dumbledore's supposed queerness I mean I really just can't delve into the details of that it's just not important to the overall narrative
Also JK Rowling: https://t.co/jaQ2OYhTCP
— Elle Maruska (they/them) (@ellle_em) January 4, 2019
harry potter in 2007: friendship & courage defeats all evil
harry potter in 2019: yeah so wizards actually used to shit and piss themselves https://t.co/NT8CI9IFhh— the mask tweet was a joke stop yelling (@imteddybless) January 4, 2019
why couldn't they just vanish it out of their bodies. why did they need to shit themselves firsthttps://t.co/ve3LglqHJp
— Shaun (@shaun_vids) January 5, 2019
https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/1081267509569953793
Read this and instantly became one of those Harry Potter people. I'm gonna get the triangle tattoo and start comparing General Mattis to Snape or whatever https://t.co/VvpD4MulPx
— Patrick Gill (@Pizza_Suplex) January 4, 2019
I should have made my three part doc series about this instead. It’s all anyone is talking about and it kills me. https://t.co/cA8LDLcgTA
— Mikey Neumann (@mikeyface) January 4, 2019
Cool. https://t.co/RxtDugcChJ
— Mr Pumpkin Movies (@mrsundaymovies) January 5, 2019
I love this fact because it shows that Jo has simultaneously spent too much and not enough time thinking about wizards taking a dump. https://t.co/N3gMgQUB0D
— Dan Olson (@FoldableHuman) January 4, 2019
this changes everything! thank you JK Rowling for your continuing commitment to answering the questions we've asked since the beginning. will we finally find out whether Uncle Vernon has erectile dysfunction this year??? https://t.co/76nPFhZF5G
— g (@tostopworrying) January 4, 2019
This is why Star Wars is better than Harry Potter. https://t.co/u6zuGOhnKY
— Jacob Suggs (@jtimsuggs) January 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/Blockbustedpod/status/1081319097797959681
Y’all really posted this huh pic.twitter.com/6E5oyaMiO8
— Cosmonaut Marcus (@CosmonautMarcus) January 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/DoctorRagnarok/status/1081270416692391936
What the fuck is modern Harry Potter lore? Wizards used to just shit on the floor at wizard school? They’d just squat down in potions class and piss on the floor? I don’t know how to respond. https://t.co/9x3ZpPmL2C
— Laura Kate Dale (@LaurakBuzz) January 4, 2019
Nicholas Flamel, as seen in the latest Potterverse blockbuster Fantastic Beasts and the Crimes of Grindelwald, was 600 years old. You think he gave up his old habits? Old folks LOVE their old habits. What I’m saying: he did this in the movie, on screen, while we were watching. https://t.co/m9a5e3mxhN
— Charles Soule (@CharlesSoule) January 4, 2019
i know this is jkr coming up with this on the spot because you can’t expect me to believe hermione would listen to draco brag about being pure blood without mentioning that his ancestors used to piss themselves https://t.co/LTMUfCMFW1
— mars (@wormbian) January 5, 2019
I knew there was a reason I never caught on to this. Y’all nasty. https://t.co/cjwfyTaBuo
— Dr. Sanjana Mathur (@teaandreverie) January 5, 2019
As a long-term Harry Potter fan, this looks like an inoffensive joke to put a hilarious spin to the fictional world. However, for a fandom that’s been asking for diversity and are getting ham-fisted characters with no real motivations in return, it’s understandable why they can find spending time to come up with “wizards shitting themselves” irksome.