The pursuit of one’s dream job in tech giants like Meta and Google can have a toll on one’s mental health even though getting a job in such companies is celebrated widely. There is relentless pressure to do your best at all times and meet others’ expectations of productivity which can lead to burnout and anxiety. A person ceases to have a work-life balance because there is this constant need to work long hours and stay connected.
A 28-year-old software engineer named Eric Yu left his job at Meta which paid Rs 3 crore per annum ($370K) because he was suffering from panic attacks.
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In an interview with Business Insider, Eric revealed that in 2016, he received an offer to work at Meta. He had an offer from Google too but he chose Meta because its culture was much more chill than Google. At first, he felt like he was on top of a mountain. His dream job had become a reality. The first year and a half was great. It was after 2 and a half years that he started facing problems.
Eric’s work began at 7 AM in the morning. He worked till noon, had lunch, sat for a few meetings and then seriously wrote code from 2.30 – 5 PM. Even after work hours, he found it difficult to log off. He kept thinking about the problems he faced in his work and how they could be solved. There is an incredible amount of pressure on the people who work in the tech industry.
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In November 2019, Eric experienced his first panic attack while he was working from home.
“It was around 4 p.m., and my left pinky went completely numb. At first, I ignored it, but it got worse: An hour in, my ears were ringing, and my heart was beating really fast. I was zoning out and felt intense thoughts. It felt like a water dam — like if too much water pushed against it, it might break, and all the water would pour out. The more I tried to block my feelings away, the more it felt like bursting out all at once,” he said.
In the following months, he kept having panic attacks and they got progressively worse. His performance began to drop and he was receiving negative comments from his peers and seniors.
“Meta has a pretty high bar when it comes to code quality, and the code reviews were tough. There’s a strong emphasis on writing code the right way, and you have to follow specific design patterns and architectural styles. There was some tension at times, and I received tough feedback on how to fix the code after numerous reviews. It sometimes left me feeling bad,” Eric revealed.
He was overworking and was under immense pressure to deliver better. Meta also has an internal rating system for coders which is visible to all other software engineers. So when one day Eric’s manager expressed concern over his performance because his rating was going down, he decided it was time for him to leave the company.
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“I know it sounds crazy to leave a $370,000 (Rs 3 crore) job, and staying at Meta for the rest of my life would have ensured financial security, but I knew it wasn’t right for me,” he expressed.
Not all “dream jobs” are healthy. This is the biggest lesson that Eric teaches us!