To the girl who will one day marry my brother,
I take it as my responsibility to tell you what you’re signing up for when you choose my brother as your significant other. I’m sure you will realise these things without me having to tell you, but as someone who has known him since the day I was born, I feel I should prepare you for what is to come your way.
Don’t worry, it is nothing bad, not even close to it (he paid me to say this).
No, but really, it’s quite the opposite. You see, marrying my brother, as you will yourself agree, will probably be the best decision of your life. And I do not say this because I’m biased, but because I am a woman and I would be happy to find a life partner like my brother. I’m sure there are men like him out there and here’s why I strongly vouch for his kind:
1. He is adapting to change; he is all for equality.
As every Indian male, my brother has been raised with the beliefs that he is supposed to be the ‘sole’ breadwinner, caretaker and protector of the family. The values of patriarchy are instilled in him, but he is trying to adapt to the times we live in. So give him some time, he will come around. He is pro equality and he will never put you down for being a woman.
2. He will be your biggest cheerleader.
Trust me, he is awfully good at this. He has the ability to make me go from a really bad mood to laughing like a hyena in mere seconds. So you can rest assured that you will never be dull for too long.
3. All your eccentricities will be accepted with love.
Whether you love cooking or hate it, whether you’re stereotypically feminine or not, he will accept you as you come, with all your flaws and eccentric habits. If you’re a party animal, you’ve got a partner to go with. If you’d rather stay at home and watch TV, his favourite show is F.R.I.E.N.D.S., just FYI.
4. He values family time a lot.
Growing up in a big family, he puts a lot of emphasis on family time and values. So one thing you will never have to complain about is his time. He will make sure he spends enough time with you and will expect you to make time for him too.
5. He will make your friends his friends, give him time.
He is not an introvert, per se; he might just take a little time to get along with your friend circle. Don’t hold it against him, he will always accompany you wherever you want. But on the flip side, when he goes out with your people, make him feel comfortable even if he doesn’t tell you to.
6. He is moody sometimes, but you might be too.
When he is feeling low or angsty, ask him what he’s annoyed about; if he tells you in one go you really are lucky. If he doesn’t, just sit with him, even if it is in silence. He will come around sooner than you can imagine.
If you are feeling low, have had a bad at work or simply having one of those unexplainable mood swings, he will make sure you feel better soon. He’d probably just tickle you till you laugh, or roll you into a blanket sushi and cuddle in front of the TV.
7. He doesn’t always say it, but he is as emotional as any human can be.
Yes, he was born into the generation where men were still thought of as macho and only women were entitled to emotions. But he is not like that. He is as emotional as any person like you and me can be. He won’t say it, but you must ask him how he feels. More often than not, you will be surprised with his openness to express himself if you are accepting of that side of him.
8. He is opinionated.
He will be the biggest reality check you might sometimes need. If you ask him for an opinion, he will be brutally honest about it. You cannot expect him to lie about a dress you really liked. I’m not saying he will hate it, but just for your sake, he will not tell you that he loved it either.
9. He loves movies and his local diner meals.
After a hard day at work, he would be up for a movie night of any kind – your choice or his. If nothing, a quick meal at his favourite local diner and he might be the happiest person you’ve seen.
He is not a shopping fanatic, but he loves the company to shop with. If you love it, he’ll come with you. If you hate shopping, go with him because he likes it. Either way, shopping will never be a reason for disagreement between y’all.
11. He is not a quitter.
God forbid if your relationship ever seems like it is taking a downward turn, just know that he will never give up on you. Even when the skies get rough. He will be there for the ups and the downs.
12. He has experience in dealing with all my 30 crazy personalities.
You can ask him all about it, he will tell you in embarrassing detail about each of my crazy personalities. So bring on the crazy, girl! I’ve prepared him to deal with all your sides too. And I assure you, he won’t even flinch.
13. All he wants in return is your love.
Your love, undivided attention and support in every walk of life. In sickness and in health. In good times and bad. He will only want you. And if that doesn’t make you feel like the luckiest girl ever then I don’t know what will.
If all the above reasons fail to convince you why my dearest brother will be an amazing person to marry, here’s a bonus point.