10 Things You Should Never Ask Your Girlfriend But You Probably Will Anyway

We all want to be candid with our girlfriends, and we should be. There should be an intimate exchange of ideas and dreams and those long winded conversations where you lose track of time itself.

Theoretically, you can ask her anything. because you reason that she is the love of your life, the apple of your eye, she won’t mind! I can ask her anything! Right?

No, you cannot. There is a thin red line that is invisible to everyone that you should not cross. No one knows where this line is, but if you ask a question that pisses her off bad, you know that limit. Stay thousands of kilometers away from it now.

Do not go on the other side. If you go, you ask questions like these –

1. Why is your father so rude?

OMG! You idiot! You thought you were the love of her life. You thought you can ask her anything? Guess what? She took offense even if you did mean it as a humorous question.

Also, as it was pointed out to me, the father is acting like a jerk because he hated me. Maybe.

 

2. Why do you need to buy that dress? You already have so many of them!

There is not one mathematical equation that justifies the number of clothes women are going to buy. Do not try to probe this sorry planet. Unlike the Martian, you will not come back.

 

3. Will you book the movie tickets for tonight?

No. Just go ahead and book them yourselves. You do not need to know how much of a lazy butt you are from her.

 

4. Why do you comb your hair so many times? It looks fine!

She can comb her hair as many times as she wants to! SHUT UP!

 

5. Why are you so grumpy today? Is it that time of the month already?

You are dead or worse – faced with hours and hours of calming her down and making up to her.

 

6. Do you want to go out on this weekend?

She does. End of story. And no, she does not want to just stay in and play video games with you.

If she does, never ever let that woman go.

 

7. Did you cut your hair?

A double edged sword this one.

Possibility 1 – She did cut her hair and you finally noticed it. Yay! You are in her good books!

Possibility 2 – She did not cut her hair, she just tied it up differently. Listen to hell talk about how inattentive you are for the next three years.

Not worth it.

 

8. Why do you wear those high heels if they hurt so much?

A common question that should be avoided, if you didn’t know that already. They wear it because it looks good and that’s it. There are no deep answers to the question.

 

9. Why do you go to the washroom so many times?

Because it is a black hole beyond which you only lose information. Nothing comes out. Nothing that happens in there ever comes out.

 

10. Why are you late?

They can ask you this question all the time, but you just cannot, my friend. Just don’t. It is not worth being reminded about all the times you were late to a date.

Just don’t. Spare yourself all that blah blah blah.

Conversing with your girlfriend is like tightrope walking. You think you have practiced so much and you have all that harness for safety, but one small mistake, one slip of balance and the harness suddenly disappears and you are hurtling through space, falling onto a hard ground covered with iron spikes.

Tread carefully brothers.

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