In many Indian households, you will find that the women sacrifice their sleep, health, and food for the benefit of the male members of the family. The easiest example of this is how women are found serving food to everyone else in the family and waiting for them to finish before having their own meal. As a result, she ends up eating too less or too late.
The ‘ideal Indian wife’ is regarded as someone who is ever-sacrificing for the benefit of her husband. And all these sacrifices are normalized in the name of ‘love’. Here is a video of a couple that is being widely circulated online. In it, we see that a husband-wife duo are having a meal together. The husband is engrossed in his phone and asks his wife to serve him more rice.
Upon opening the casserole, the wife realizes that there is no more rice left. So she scoops half the rice from her plate, puts it inside the casserole and serves it to her husband. The husband, on the other hand, doesn’t even notice this gesture. He continues scrolling through his phone. Why are people romanticizing this behavior?
Firstly, the husband (a fully functional adult) is incapable of taking his own food. Secondly, he thinks it is okay to ask his wife to serve him more rice by signalling with his fingers and not even looking at her or expressing with words. He pays zero attention to his wife and doesn’t even acknowledge her after she serves him the food.
How is this okay?
Here’s a look at the video:
देखें औरत घर कैसे संभालती है❤️ pic.twitter.com/mWzMI27QMr
— Logically Correct ! (@RajivKalra18) July 29, 2023
Innumerable people are rightly calling out this video for promoting more man-childlike behavior and portraying the sacrificing woman as the ideal Indian wife. Here’s a look at some of the responses:
The great indian male babies who never grow up. The cringe makers who made this have inadvertently captured the reality of indian patriarchy. https://t.co/E3Ios9jJKe
— Amit Pun-char-kar @[email protected] (@asuph) July 30, 2023
stop romanticising this bullshit, first of all cant he take his food on his own???? she’s not his maid. second, if he paid any attention he’d know she didn’t eat anything. this is your patriarchal version of love. stop propagating this rubbish https://t.co/0k7ZbvD8cu
— lemon (@lemonademelk) July 30, 2023
Is this supposed to be a “cute” depiction cause this is absolutely horrifying and perfectly portrays the idea of Indian patriarchy. The man-baby isn’t even aware of his surroundings and is scrolling reels 😂 while the wife/mother has to sacrifice her food for him? https://t.co/GsnSZlUGlG
— Adithya (@adithya_ssh) July 30, 2023
How do we brainwash women so much that they end up smiling when their partners treat them with utter neglect and disrespect.
He should have been sprayed in the face with the kitchen faucet. https://t.co/cPPKqPpV8v
— pinkpaisley پنک پیسلی (@pinkpaisley3) July 30, 2023
Romanticising this kind of shit is the reason why the number of malnourished women in this country is ever increasing. https://t.co/89rl53Tg1M
— Holier B Forker 🏳️🌈 (@forkingheck1) July 29, 2023
Imagine feeding your so called "man" right off your plate and he chooses to not even acknowledge the gesture or take his eyes off his phone all the while almost ordering you to feed him. Nah fam. Electric chair. https://t.co/5sLdscpgII
— no. (@thisisajokeokay) July 30, 2023
Adding onto this, throughout my childhood, my mom used to cook based on what my dad likes & what I like. And she ended up having the same food. Never really made anything special for herself. When you actually think through all that moms do, its nothing short of a tragedy. https://t.co/ePRmV3qJnu
— TakeADeepBreath (@DeepTake) July 30, 2023
why stop here. why not chew his food for him also, since he appears incapable of doing the bare minimum https://t.co/q81GktjL6H
— Priya (@priya_ebooks) July 30, 2023
No. No. No. Sister always eat your share. You don't need to stay hungry. Give him something else. Or cook more. Or cook again.
He isn't even noticing it.
Tum apna khana khaao. He is an adult man. Woh apna dekh lega..
Eat and sleep well, sister. https://t.co/mkdrnEb3CL— Paromita Bardoloi (@Paromitabardolo) July 29, 2023
When will the reverse happen? When will “Indian men” realise that they are not children who need to be given unconditional love for bare minimum things. Auratein toh humesha se sacrifice kar hi rhin hain. https://t.co/3ax8PAVndJ
— Socialist (@not_centre) July 29, 2023
For a marriage to work, both people in question should live like ‘partners’ by looking after each other’s needs. This is so basic!