Our society hasn’t been very kind to single mothers. Women, for ages, have been taught to depend on a man. And when they break through these social conventions, decide on living life on their own terms and raise their kids on their own, they are often stigmatised.
Indian women online who are single mothers have been sharing their experiences dealing with society’s unkind behavior and the worries they experience for their kids. It started when Twitter user Pooja Priyamvada opened up about being labelled a “bad woman” and expressed concern for her child if something were to happen to her.
I am a proud Single Parent.
But I also know I have no family support and if I die my child would end up in an orphanage.
I also know how the society labels me as a single mom- must be desparate, must be a bad woman, must be available.
1/2— Pooja Priyamvada (She/Her) (@SoulVersified) June 1, 2021
I know that I have no plan B for myself or my kid, it is only me.
Today is #GlobalParentsDay, think of all the parents around you who do not fit the man-woman-child formula.
What are your biases against them?
How do you discriminate or support?#SingleParents #QueerParents— Pooja Priyamvada (She/Her) (@SoulVersified) June 1, 2021
Other single mothers and people who know single moms opened up about their experiences as well, showering Pooja with support. Here’s what some of them said:
Single women are usually considered as available especially, when they reach 30s. But for a single mother in India, is like living in a city of vultures. You are strong and powerful ❤
— Parul Kulshrestha (@parulkulsTOI) June 2, 2021
My great grandmother got out of an abusive marriage, went back to school and completed her education. She then went on to become a principal. She did all this while caring for her daughter who she got married off with her earning.
You are strong.— Sai Vishal (@VISHSAI) June 1, 2021
For thousands of years we in india have failed to address single women. We tried to kill single women(Sati), or sent them to Vrindawan or tried them to marry the siblings of the deceased or else make them sadhvis.We cannot grasp the concept of a her as a individual, a person.
— Dr.Nitibhushansingh Chandel (@DrNitibhushans1) June 2, 2021
My aunt was widowed pretty young. Single handedly raised two daughters with a teacher’s salary. Educated them. One is a lawyer & the other an engineer today. All this while her in-laws took away her gold & blocked access to money so that she wouldn’t remarry. Nothing stopped her.
— Ollie (@OllieTruly) June 2, 2021
This pandemic took my husband last month.. now I am a single parent of my 5 year old son. I am scared to hell.But I will stand strong and support my son as much as possible until I am alive.
— Sara..thush (@neeharabindu) June 2, 2021
Single women and especially single mothers are considered as soft targets/easily objectified by quite a few men.
It’s true that single mum’s can be vulnerable at times because of the strain of handling everything. But this itself makes them a whole lot stronger in the long run.— Anamika (BasAinweHi) (@HiAinwe) June 1, 2021
I can identify with everything you have mentioned. I too am a proud and happy single parent and know exactly how you feel. With no Plan B, it is a frightening and overwhelming feeling. Life is a constant struggle trying to provide while fending off unwanted attention.
— Kavita #SaveMollem #NoCAA #NoNRC (@kavitamasthoff) June 1, 2021
Have been a single mum for 21 years now, my son was 5. it’s hard. No question.I was/am privileged to have my entire family around me..rock solid .but yes people are waiting to see a weak spot and pounce. Have become harsh and loud over time with very little patience for whining
— Me. Punekarin (@earthlyactor27) June 2, 2021
Hey Pooja. You are amazing. I’ve been where you are and my kid is 20 now and in a great school pursuing the life he wants. Who you are will inspire him everyday. I also used to be terrified he’d end up alone so I made him fiercely independent. Support yourself to support him.
— Gayatri (@G_y_tri) June 1, 2021
Dudette, here 2. If I’m gone, kids will end up with no1. Mom in 70s too. I scared s***less. Have to hang on with hope that 2mrw will be better than today. MASK UP & Stay home. No time to think whether some1 discriminates or not even.
No guarantees. Just prayers.
Stay safe.— Vidya Anantha (@Srivida) June 1, 2021
hmare yaha character bus aurto ka hi judge hota hai agar wo apne marji se zindagi jiti hai …baaki to male Pure or Paak paida huye hai or rhte hai hamesa …. ..bus kaan band karo apne or apni life jio apne baccho k sath …thats it …sidhi baat no Bkwas 😊
— Sujata Singh (@sujata__s) June 1, 2021
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