18 Backhanded Compliments To Piss Off Your Friends

Complimenting someone and making them feel good about themselves is a talent, that unfortunately very few Earthlings posses; but it is not a very difficult thing to learn. It’s quick, it’s simple and all you have to do is wait for the perfect timing to drop the bomb.

1. You have pretty great lips for a person with bad breath

Ummm… Thanks. NOT.

 

2. You have a weird laugh, but your voice is amazing

Am I supposed to find this funny?

 

3. You’re more intelligent than you look

And you are clearly dumber than I thought.

 

4. Your outfit look amazing, but can you change the shoes?

NO. deal with it.

 

5. When meeting somebody after a really long time: Hey, you look amazing. Are you pregnant?

Gee, thanks. That is so sweet of you. Because gaining weight is not an option for me, right?

 

6. You play amazing football for a girl

Let me kick you in the guts and show you how good I am.

 

7. You look so pretty now, I couldn’t recognize you for a minute

Are you trying to tell me I was ugly earlier?

 

8. You have beautiful hair, but I think you should do something about the dandruff

I plan to stab it with a knife after I’m done stabbing you.

 

9. For a fat girl you dance quite well

I can also jump on you and suffocate you.

 

10. You’re so dusky but that blue color suits you a lot

Okaaaay, asshole.

 

11. I don’t understand jokes, but I think you’re really funny

Kehna kya chahte ho?

 

12. You have beautiful eyes. Is this the regular amount of Kohl you use?

Yes. Let me stare you to death.

 

13. You’re from Chennai? But you don’t look like a South Indian

You’re from Earth? Coz you don’t talk sensibly like a human.

 

14. You’re so cool, how are you still single?

Why don’t you date me? Let me love you. LET. ME. LOVE. YOU.

 

15. You look so nice, I love your curves

And I like your face. Although it would look better if I punched it.

 

16. You look so great in your Facebook pictures

You look great…Nope, you look like an ass.

 

17. You’d look so much hotter if you lost weight

Oh no, you didn’t.

 

18. Of course I love you, you’re my friend

I’m out of here. AND YOU AND I ARE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE.

Word to the wise: If you don’t want your face to be ‘backhanded’, then learn not to give backhanded compliments.

Live long and prosper. 😀