Someone asked me, “Why would anyone be afraid of having sex? It is awesome.” But, to experience how awesome it is, you have to do it first, and that’s what some people can’t gather the courage to do. There can be different reasons for that. Some people are not mentally prepared or have not decided a correct time to go for it. But, some people have a psychological fear of intercourse.
I’m not going to dig deep into why some people are afraid of having sex. It can be a bad experience or just a phobia that doesn’t allow their mind to go for it, even if their body is ready. But, there are few things they will relate to.
Here are some things a person feels if he/she is afraid of having sex.
1. What if I cannot bear the pain?
That is the most common fear among the people who are afraid of sex, especially girls. They cannot come to terms with the idea of them getting hurt and that’s what scares them. It gets worse if you read about bad experiences and mishaps.
2. What if I am never able to do it?
Mostly, you get over this fear with time. Maybe you are not mentally prepared now. Maybe you’ll be a year later. But, the one thing that goes in your head is that what if you never overcome this fear? That scares you more than the thought of having sex.
3. What if my partner leaves me because of this?
This is another reason why people who are not emotionally ready for sex, end up doing it. There is this pressure of pleasing your partner and that makes you do things you are not ready to do. For people who are afraid of sex, this thought occurs more often. ‘Why will he/she stay with me, if I refuse to have sex?’
4. The thought of ‘blood’ is frightening
There is this impending fear of bleeding excessively in a girl’s head while having sex for the first time. Anyone, who cannot stand the sight of too much blood will always fear that first time.
5. What if I get pregnant?
Believe it or not, this paranoia is a big reason why many girls hesitate in having sex. Even after learning about safe sex and proper measures to avoid pregnancy, they can’t shake the fear off their minds.
6. What if I’m not good enough?
The fear of loss of performance is more common among men. The fear of “failure” becomes a shock to the brain and a stigma of shame that make many men dread sexual interactions. Some women feel this too, but it is easier to hide in their case.
7. What will other people think of me if I do it?
We live in a country where ‘sex’ is still a taboo. Although, many people of the current generation don’t care about what other people think, but there is still a major chunk of the population which is hung up on the thought of what others will think, and perceive the activity of sexual intercourse as morally wrong. The fear of being judged by peers prevails here.
8. Am I asexual?
Some people seriously consider this possibility, and it can be true in some cases. The very reason you can’t or don’t want to have sex is because there is no arousal. Please remember that there is nothing wrong with it.
9. What if I get a disease?
Germophobia is a fear of contamination and germs. People suffering from this are afraid of touching someone’s hand without a glove on, forget sex. Hence, germophobes have a tough time convincing themselves for an intercourse. There is an exchange of saliva and other body fluids, that can scare them to death. Putting their hands and mouth at certain places is out of the question. In such cases, the fear of STDs worsens the situation.
10. I’m okay with everything else except penetration
Vaginismus affects a woman’s ability to engage in any form of vaginal penetration. It’s a psychological condition and makes you fear the very act of penetration. Any kind of penetration like tampons, menstruation cups, or even masturbating is out of the question for women with this fear.
There can be many reasons why one can be afraid of sex, past sexual abuse or psychological phobia being few of them. The solution is to not rush into anything but to take help. Talk to a doctor or someone experienced regarding this matter. Do not shy away from any kind of discussion and try to get over your fear at a comfortable pace.
Hope this was helpful. Until next time… 🙂