Right from the start of February, whenever I meet with a group of friends, invariably the topic of Valentine’s Day is discussed. And for some reason, the discussion is always along the lines of “Who are you taking out on Valentine’s Day?”
Why?Â
Why is it that on one specific day of a particularly uneventful month with terrible weather, we are expected to pull out all the stops and have an ‘out-of-the-world’ date?
Somebody, somewhere at some point in time announced that 14th of February was the day you must find a companion, court them and share some, often awkward conversation and call it Valentine’s Day.
And we all simply listened because of our overwhelming need to conform.
Research suggests that we conform because we want to be socially accepted. We fear that somehow, not having a date on Valentine’s Day makes us ‘un-cool’ and a social outcast.
According to research by Dr Samantha Lambert:
“Individual’s motivation to conform is influenced by the social pressure created by a group of inaccurate individuals.”
Basically, if a bunch of annoying friends continually trouble you about whom you’ll be taking out on Valentine’s Day, you come under immense pressure to find someone. You make an effort to have a date on the 14th just so that you complete an arbitrary social obligation.
Furthermore, just look at the nonsensical timing of the event, the 14th of February. Around the world, the weather is crap!
You can’t have a picnic because your afternoons are scorching hot.
As soon as you set it all up, you’d be drenched in sweat. You know I’m right.
You can’t enjoy the sunset because evenings suddenly get too cold.
You’re never prepared for the rush of cold that hits you on a February evening.
The days aren’t long enough and neither are the nights. The entire day is pretty much mediocre in every aspect. If 14th of February were a vegetable, it would be bhindi.
Bhindi is not bad, but it’s not something you’d be overjoyed about if you saw it on your dinner plate.
So no, this Valentine’s Day, I don’t have a date. It’s not that I’m an asexual being who has suppressed his desires or somebody who’s overly positive about being single. It’s just that I don’t feel the need to conform to an arbitrary set of social norms which require you to have a date on this particular day.
Those like me, who do not have a date on Valentine’s Day, here’s a piece of advice.
Go on a date on a better day. Bask in the glory of a cooler afternoon, take a walk along the beach on a warmer evening and have the deepest conversations on a longer night.
And go with someone you really want to. NOT someone who happens to be available on the 14th of February. Don’t conform to arbitrary societal norms.
Have a Crazy, Stupid, Valentine’s Day!
Reference: Samantha P. Lumbert, Conformity and Group Mentality: Why We Comply.