9 Strong Reasons Why You Really Need To Thank Your Ex

A broken heart hurts for long. And everyone who has ever been in that state knows it. The arguments, the pleading that make you feel pathetic, the mode in which you keep to yourself, and then the zone where you pretend that you don’t care about anything at all. We face it all. We fight it out. And then? Then we reach the place where we need to thank ‘THE EX.’

Why, you ask?

 

1. Thank them for the good times

It sure was fun, wasn’t it? The private jokes, the stolen kisses, those bike rides and the “can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other” phase. The calm before the storm is often breathtakingly serene. The way you both shared things was absolutely adorable. From music to munchies, from friends to family and those perfect silences which were privy to just the two of you. That person taught you that you could share intricate facets of your life with someone else. And that means a lot!

 

2. Thank them for the love

Won’t you agree that there were moments when, without a doubt, he/she made you the happiest you have ever been. There were times when just a quick glance or a shared song would send you into a world of butterfly kisses. The small gestures that made you feel special that were done just to impress you, have shaped your present self a lot. Everyone needs to learn that they are capable of being happy without having to feel sorry about it. And enabling you with that capability, is exactly why you need to thank him/her for.

 

3. Thank them for the loss of affection

The downhill from the peak of having it all in a relationship is never nice. Consistently heavy heart, missing compliments, absent touches, and separate sides of the bed sure were the warning signs. They affected you more than hard words sometimes, but they also taught you that you need affection at times and that is absolutely okay. It feels human to need physical reassurance and verbal affirmation from time to time. And the withdrawn affection made you realize who you were.

 

4. Thank them for that special someone who deserves you

When things went wrong, you questioned yourself. “Where did I go wrong?” , “What more could I have done?”
After the fog of vulnerability and questioning yourself is lifted, you give yourself time and you eventually find someone who deserves you more than anyone in this world. And if you haven’t found that person yet, you will. You definitely will. And you really need to thank your dearly (once) beloved ex for breaking away from your life so that you can meet that special someone!

 

5. Thank them for consistent judgments

People don’t judge other people on purpose. It is just that their idea of perfection doesn’t match with yours. And this is where judgment steps in. You were judged for a lot of things. For your choices, your dressing, your friends, your vocabulary and many other things. And amidst trying really hard to be perfect for the precious ex, you realized that the person you were shaping up to be wasn’t you. That the choices you were making weren’t yours. And that feeling gave you the courage to move on when the strings of your relationship were broken. Moreover, now you know how it feels to be constantly judged and you would never want your special person to feel that way.

 

6. Thank them for the lost friends

You got so close to that special ‘someone’ that you sailed away from many others in the process. When your ex left you, you were broken and helpless with very few friends left by your side. That made you realize how foolish you were to let them go. And having been in that dire stage once, you would never let the same thing happen to you again. On the contrary, you will make more friends, better friends and cherish them like precious gems.

 

7. Thank them for showing you your limits

How badly you tried to make it work, spending every last shred of your energy in the relationship. Raising your patience, drinking your temper, resisting the urge to break free and run away, but you stayed there and faced the situation. And when everything failed, you parted. Nonetheless you were tried and tested till the extent where you lost the point of being together, and that’s where you realized your limits. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

 

8.  Thank them for the ignorance

What do you need to thank your ex the most for? Those ignored phone call, the texts that were never replied to, the emotions that were given no heed and the stage-right exit from your life. Those were the most humane actions of the entire relationship. You must have hated your ex for it, but you were the weaker one and someone had to make the call. You were saved from yourself. And you learned that you could live in a world where your ex no longer existed, and flourish happily with that.

9. Thank her/him for leaving you

You may have been a drunken mess, an easy target for anyone seeking a one-night-stand, an embodiment of bad decisions and piss-poor life choices, but it was YOU. Every dark, twisted, ugly facet of you. And in breaking down, you were taught how to build yourself back up. You were taught that no matter what you think, you only get what you deserve in life, not more – not less. And most of all you learned, that you don’t ‘need’ someone in your life to make you feel special. You saw your worst, you got up to your best and that is enough to make you feel special.

 

Not all relationships are destined to last forever, but if we’re fortunate, we walk away with a greater perspective of what we want and don’t want in future partners. Learning tough life lessons from a bad relationship often brings meaning to the suffering.

Old flames will teach us who we are and how we manage relationships. So instead of hating on your exes, maybe you should thank them!