In the world where greetings went from ‘Namaste’ to ‘What up bro?’, relationships have taken a turn too. Love isn’t what’s different, it’s our way of expressing it that’s drastically changed.
Let’s start from the beginning,
1. The First Encounter
Look at that beautiful girl surrounded by her friends, she looks so carefree and spirited. I’d love to get to know her.
Fuck dude, check out this hottie’s profile, she’s got a great rack, she loves Suits too. Look at that we have 15 mutual friends, it’s meant to be.
2. The First Conversation
Hi, i’m sorry to send a letter through your friend, but that’s the only way I could gather the courage to talk to you. I’ll wait at the place I first saw you, if you think you’d want to get to know me, then please come and say hi, i’ll be standing with a red rose.
Hey, cool DP. I saw you’re attending the gig at high spirits on Sunday, i’d love to buy you a beer, see you there?
3. The First Official Date
Yes, i’d love to buy gola for you and your 3 other friends just to spend 15 minutes talking to you. It’s what I live for.
Sitting at a bar, sipping whisky while asking, ‘So how many exes have you had?’
4. Initiating Intimacy
Base 1: Holding hands, Base 2: Hugging, Base 3: Marriage, Base 4: Children
Base 1: Making out… *cue all Kamasutra positions you can imagine*.. Base 101: Think about buying a cat together.
5. First Fight
‘I’m sorry, i was helping maa pick a sabzi for tonight’.
‘You love your maa more than me’.
‘I saw that your best friend on snapchat is Aisha, what do you snapchat her so much?’
‘I’m telling you if you annoy me about this one more time, I will block you on Facebook and Whatsapp and start texting Aisha instead.’
6. Making up after a fight
I’m sorry jaanu, i love you and maa equally. Here is a rose to prove my love. *Que song and dance sequence*
‘Bae, come on forget about this. I got us pizza, now let’s call it even.
7. Meeting The Parents
*Touches feet*, ‘Yes sir, i intend on marrying your daughter, i will keep her really happy’.
Hi Aunty, I heard there is Chicken Biryani for dinner, so I stopped by. *Disappears into girlfriends room until dinner is served*
8. Breaking Up
I’m sorry jaanu, you’re mangalik and you’re from another caste. Maa has fixed my rishtaa with Uma jiji’s daughter.
*You have a new Whatsapp message*
Hey, sorry, i made out with this girl at the party and i realized I’m in love with her. Hope you understand. I’m changing my Facebook password now.
Have you noticed the change?
If not, it’s time to watch some old Bollywood movies ASAP!